WTF?! Is Branden even Baked? Read below to Find The Fuck Out....

Well well, what have we here? A fresh new post, post respite, I suppose. Me? Oh, I've been fighting the good fight, pursuing revenge to an unhealthy level, chasing demons, pussy, and of course, the dragon. I've managed to stay out of trouble. No. Nope. Haven't done that exactly. I've managed to stay under the radar, participating in the usual amount of trouble. No cops in my life, knock on wood. Since last we spoke, I have lost the girl, had the girl return, ravished the girl(to prove a point), then banished the girl. Now, I am at peace with the(much heavier) girl just being a friend. I had a tattoo installed on my calf, had another one updated, and had my first one refreshed. I have the studio running and have been using it regularly. My dog died😢. I have resisted the urge to get a new one. I am enjoying the freedom from responsibility. I now have a troop of rabbits that live under my shed. They are eating my landscaping, but are an asset to the yard overall. I've nearly completed my side-yard project which includes a new deck and a water feature. I have had a new roommate for a year this month. She is a peach, and we share many passions, well, dope. My old roommate Dave Pettit Garcia, got shot in the face and murdered. RIP Dave. I miss you buddy. Frankie is doing well, living on a couch in East Brem. And finally, the 900 lb. gorilla in the room, Donald Fucking Trump. As with Baby Bush, I fear he will be re-elected. I hate what this cuntry has become. This cunt is running game on us you fucktards! The Republicans are a joke, and the joke is on us. I'm not even going to waste my typing trying to motivate anyone to vote Democrat. You either get it, or you suck. I will hope for the best and plan for the worst. Btw, you might want to grab some ice or snow and sock it away in your freezer so the grandkids will have some idea what things were like in the past.
Revolution and titties motherfuckers-



P.S. How 'bout them M's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Micro is the new Awesome super-fun to completion.

Micro. Seems simple enough. Small. Little. Tiny. Yet somehow, these synonyms do not convey the whole story. Microbrews are not designated driver drinks served in a thimble sized frosty mug. They are hand crafted, exquisitely rendered small batch masterpieces, which somehow absolve you of the lable drunk mother fucker. A microcosm is more than just a shrunken cosmos. It is a perfectly sublime example of a complex system in an easy to digest analogy. Micromanagement is the art of losing the forest for the trees. Yet micro is also an apt descriptor when I think of my own self image at this crucial crossroads that my life has stopped at. Look left. I see fresh new pavement. Perfectly drawn lines. Sensuous curves, not too sharp, roll away in the distance. Look right. Straight. Flat. Lonely. Behind me, my road I've known for years. Bumpy? Sure. Some fucking nightmare potholes too Brah. The road I've traveled to get here. Finally, I could go straight ahead. May be some trouble up around the bend. For sure, some nasty fender benders that I will have to take care of. My heart says stay the course. Work out the kinks as they come. My mind, which is tired of my heart getting its way, says hang a left and lick that route from stem to stern. Revel in that smooth tight fresh road and never look back........................................................

Val is gone...

To treatment. Five days in detox, and 20 days in treatment...Then TOOL!!! June 17th at the Gorge in E. Washington. Damn! It's been a long time. About 15 years. I didn't see the 10,000 Days tour, figured I'd just catch the next one. Weather has been pretty good. 70's and sunny. My yard is to die for. Stone cold pimpin. I'm gonna use this time with Val gone to take care of some loose ends. Get organized. Take care of my damn taxes. Etc. Get some shit done yo.

McDonald's...

Again, I find myself in Shoreline, trolling the local fast-food shit-hole, waiting. I drive a long way for the privilege. It's like my job. No, no, it is my job. Many depend on the clockwork of my trips. Shoreline. Federal Way. Tacoma. All stops on the insanity train. Less insane for me than them. They're the ones with the puzzle to solve, I only wait for them to figure it out. I always rise to the top of the heap. Carried by the less clever, by the less determined. Oh, don't get it twisted, there are risks, but if I'm careful, they are manageable. The risks are better than the alternative. Ah, my hook arrives!🎱🎱🎱🎱

Ferry back to the Homeland.

Fresh with supplies.

Banner Jump Joint...

GOVERNMENT CHEESE from The Banner Jump on Myspace.

I Mind...

This song needs to be re-worked. That being said, this is the original version still squatting on myspace...

I Mind from Supercell on Myspace.

In other news: THE HUSKIES MADE THE PLAYOFFS THE HUSKIES MADE THE PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Seahawks kicked ass but lost Earl for the season. Sales are down. It snowed here today, but caused almost zero mayhem. Trump is still a dick. Republicans are still evil. Not the cool kind of evil like moi, but the frustrating kind that all of the lemmings follow and think is patriotic. Dawgs face Alabama on New Years Eve...Biggest. Game. Ever.

HawkTober Yo!

The Hawks are into their bye-week and boy couldn't have come at a better time. Russle Wilson is one banged up baller. Hawks are 3-1 and looking gooooooood. Worked in the yard, in the rain, for the past couple of days. Tryin to get CVWHQ buttoned up for the long rainy winter. Pretty much gtg except for the hot tub and the bark in the flower beds. Need to get my shit off of layaway, and put Xmas shit on layaway. Got my girl back, so have to be jolly this year! Still haven't come up with a name for my company. It'll come, they always do. So many projects going, not enough hours in the mutherfucking day. Huskies play the hated Oregon Ducks this week. HUGE!!!!! Win this, and we are in the drivers seat. Window down, pedal to the metal.

I'm Not Sure If....

I'm not sure if this month is 'Toberin, but it's for sure Rockin.
This is FUCKING HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON HUSKIES FOOTBALL IS RANKED #5!!!!!!!
Two of the top four are from the Big Ten Conference and play each
other on November 26. That leaves a clear path for the Dawgs to
make the College Football Playoffs 2016! Damn Coach, that was
pretty fucking quick. You da man! Don James would be proud of the
team you've put together. OKG for real. These kids battle...And
win. There is a lot of season to go but I have waited a long time
to get back to a place we always knew we belonged. The top of the
heap baby. I'm livin on top of it. I'm livin on top of the heap!

In other news:
I got another section of fence up today. Completed one speaker stand. Got the computer switched over to an SSD. Have to go to Tukwila in a minute. Gonna get some new strings for my death-fiddle. I have cotton-mouth right now something(Sompthin)fierce. Hella baked yo. Mutherfuckin pie eyed. All my thoughts expressed as nods. Best intentions somehow lost. Your throat constricts, this burning thirst. Milkshake in hand, fortunes reversed. Your eager slurps betray the need. Fight through the pain, give in to greed. Milkshake consumed with reckless speed. Blood runs out of both ears, eyes defiant through the tears. Some kind of record that day he siezed, though died from massive cerebral cortex freeze. Gave old "Can't stop talking about work" the business so bad, he's gonna quit smoking heroin and be a NA superstar. Just think, all of those captive listeners. I'm Joe Carpenter and I'm an addict. Just yesterday I spent six hours making a movie about the half-hour of work I did. Then I went on Facebook and told everyone that I only have four dollars cause of all of my responsibilities. Even though I live in my Dad's basement. So I guess I'm just a super duper duche bag. Oh well, thanks for letting me share. Fuck you Opie. I couldn't care less if I never saw you again. It poured down rain yesterday. M's lost in extra innings and are out. Great fucking year. Again we are the champions of the teams that didn't make the playoffs. I'm gonna take the foosball table apart so I can put lights in and get a table for my house. I've got a great plan, can't wait to see it all in place. Tried to sell the table(BLASPHEMY!), but Smackpaka didn't follow through with a supposed sure-thing. Oh wow, big fucking surprise. That's okay, when I don't have any projects, I'll peel all of the laminate off of the table, get new, hip, modern laminate and re-finish it. Put in the coin box and get new rods and bushings, oh hell yeah! Gonna be the best fucking foose evah! Sticky Fingers Frizzo is stealing splash cymbals lately. We now have 2. Getting ready to put Christmas gifts on layaway. I have four hundred followers on Instagram. Val is swollen. Trump is a super fucking asshole grifter and if you vote for him, lose my number, shit for brains. Hawks handled the Jets and moved to 3-1. I'm gonna get Lisa's carry and take some time off of my (H)obby. I need some more face and mind healing time. I am still winning, but no reason to coast now. Well, my little sycophants, that's all the news that's hip to ship

2 In A Day...

Here Ya Go-

Ahhhh. Memories. My Kramer....REWARD!!!!

The Guitar Paul Billings III stole. He is currently in Kitsap County Drug Court

The Serial Number

Paul hasn't paid for this crime...Yet!

Which was stolen from my house in Port Orchard, Washington on or around July 18, 2013. A little dirtbag named Paul Billings took it while I was in jail. He pawned it somewhere, possibly at Trader McGee's in Bremerton, Washington. The guitar is obviously a custom job, done by myself, but the value lies in the history. I obtained this Kramer in 1995 from a good friend who had it since the original owner lost his life. The guitar was purple and pink, but under all of that eye shadow, this thing had balls. I stripped it down and had it painted black with gold flake at Al's Used Cars and Trucks. He also clear coated it with an automotive finish. It remained that way until 2008 or '09. I then started screwing around with colors and artsy finishes trying to find this thing's hidden identity. One day, I threw it on the table saw while listening to "What's next to the moon?" by AC/DC. A couple of cuts here, a little off of the top there, and voilà!!!!

This is from 1996, Right after I painted it black.

Pre-paint circa 2006

I had found the magic spell to release the inner bad-ass that this Kramer always possessed but was suppressed. Impressed, I had to rest. I'd done my best, and passed the test. And the rest? Find a color that stressed it's blessed, this guitar, from way out west, caused shy, responsible twenty-somethings to crowd up to the stage and forcefully share their ample breasts. I was impressed. No no no, don't get dressed. Let's all regress to mindless sex, and give these breasts the best 'fest I'd guessed. 

SuperCell show at the Ray Waterman RV and Rodeo show 2001

This is from 2007.

Ah, but I digress. When the guitar had found it's true shape, I then painted it using closely guarded technics I had developed over the years.(Unfortunately, the guitar itself was not as closely guarded). I quickly did a pro-setup and added it to my arsenal of six-string murder weapons. Soon after that, on July 15, 2013, I got busted for passing off fake Facebook/Copywrite posts when I made a fool out of the wrong Sheriff's social media liason. While my lawyers were sorting through the legal minefield, Paul broke into my home and took everything he could carry in his tiny, child-like arms and sped away to buy his heroin. Many things were stolen. My MXL microphones. (4). My M-Audio Black Box. My Alesis Multimix 8 mixer. My Ibanez bass. My Yamaha acoustic. etc. The thing I want back the most, the thing that's easy to identify, is that Kramer. The serial number is on the screw-plate easily seen in the photo. Okay. I'm outta time. Bottom line. I want this guitar. I will pay the person who has it, for it. I will give a reward to the person who finds it and informs me where it is. Let's start the bidding at $250.00 reward, and $350.00 for the guitar. We'll negotiate from there. Aight? 

Interwebs, come September....

Shout out to Frizzo, for taking care of bizzo. Now, I can air my dirty laundry on the interwizzo. Fo shizzle. ENOUGH! If your cracker-ass mind was unable to decipher my street-jive, I was merely rejoicing at the fact that the Clover Valley house has high speed internet service, and a decent cable package. If that wasn't enough good news, my girl called me up and said, "come and get me". So I did. And the girl got, got. So I'm going to run up to Wallyworld and grab some milk for my ice cream tonight, and my Fruit Loops with Mutherfucking Marshmallows, tomorrow morning, bitch.

The summer has left with a pussy-like whimper. That's okay. Fall is an especially kick ass time of year here in the PNW. The trout bite again. The forest beckons. The Seahawks, oh, the mighty Seahawks! The M's just miss the playoffs for the 67th year in a row. The Huskies begin their quest towards relevancy. That smell...Arrives with the school bells and lingers until after Thanksgiving. We have really gotten a lot of projects done over this summer. Now, with time running out, we must pull together as a team and button up all of the loose ends. Not a lot, but, important just the same. A little pixie dust, makes opiated into...OPIATED!!!! Now that we are back on the grid, I will be able to dole out every delicious detail. It will be as if you were riding on my shoulder like Toucan Sam.........................Good day peeps, good damn day.

Well into August and still no Interweb....

At the Clover Valley World Headquarters. I'll tell you, despite the obvious financial snafus, I am definitely on the mend. I've been spending time with my favorite girl! Now, I'm not gonna try and say I understand the workings of this most mysterious female's most mysterious mind, but it would appear, to my limited observational skills, that she is into me again. Maybe she is, maybe I'm delusional, either way, I'm gonna go with the flow and enjoy the moment and let the deets fall where they may. I spent the whole day today, and several hours last night working on a song. It's a story about a drug-obsessed entrepreneur, who just wants to marry great service and low prices with the black market drug trade. Now, I've been known to sling a bit, back in 2013, but any reference to illegal activities is either fiction or history. With that disclaimer, I give you this:














Be kind when critiquing my work. I donate all the moneys to BALPAC. For this and other Indi-gems, check out my soundclown page HERE
Also:Upper 90's try to save this shitty ass summer. M's are making a show of trying to get into the playoffs...We'll see if they have the juice. Hawks are looking like the shit yet again. We will be deep into the playoffs if not the big one. Dawgs are ranked 7th by SI!!! Have two of seven panels done on the new fence. The shop is 90% done. Almost done with the headliner on my truck. The bed of the truck is done, painted on liner and truck box. HotTub is on the ground, 30 feet from it's final destination. The studio is stone cold pimpin'. Too many improvements to mention in a news feed, stay tuned for an in depth report. For more Branden than you can shake your tits at, follow my Instagram @brandenhuff. That's all the news that's fit to spit...Peace and #DumpTrump

Shhhhhhhhhhh! Valerie is sleeping!

Guess where I am. Evil Val's lair. Ha ha ha! Came over to deliver some of my special sauce. I'm never too far from her thoughts, and as you all know, I'm pretty well sprung on her. Not that I don't do just fine without her, cause I do. But, in a perfect circle, she's my girl. Now I'm all up in her business! Ha! I have been hella busy. Working for Petit. Doing my thing. Building a fence in the front yard. Battling those fucking moles. Built custom speaker boxes for my truck. Moving all of my shit out of the office and garage. Eating Birthday Cake Ice Cream and milk. Taking care of my fucked off face infection. Cloning my favorite plant, and considering an attempt at breeding my own strain of Purple Blaze. Not too sure about all of the details, but when has that stopped me? I have finally got my own P.A.! First, I bought some Peavey PR12's from the pawn shop for 25 bucks. They were priced at $50.00 because they didn't work. I offered $25.00 and they said sure, then helped me carry 'em out to the truck. Got em home, and one worked fine, the other, nothing. Soooooo, I took the plate off of the back, and, low and behold, the wires were unhooked. So, I hooked em back up, and, TA-DA! P, mutherfucking A! Next, I went to Guitar Center and grabbed a Behringer 502 Xenyx mixer. Got it home and discovered that it had no FX send and return, the phantom power is only 15 volts, o today, I will be trading that shit in for a 1204 Xenyx mixer and my shit will be so fucking squared away you could measure it corner to corner both ways and it will be within a mutherfucking 64th of a mutherfucking inch. Anywho, after the mixer, my signal goes into a Peavey Classic 120 tube amp. From there to the speakers we spoke of already. I'm using some shitty mic that I've been carting around for years and years. Probably need to upgrade that shit to a Shure SM58. FX is an area that is pretty much whack. Yeah, I just used "whack". Fuck you, I do what I want. I need to get some fucking phaser on my earth-bound voice and launch that shit into orbit. Stoner Rawk is just not quite right with dry vox. I don't make the rules, but if I did, FX on the vocal track would be non-negotiable. When I close my eyes, I see black and pink fractal light shows in the shape of a guitar and half-stack.

This is the bullshit I'm currently suffering through.(The struggle is real!!!!)

This is the upgrade I will be employing today, to make my shit KICK-ASS!


















As you can see from my words and pictures, life is being lived, and the only reason you are not hearing about it more often is because my interweb situation is about as fucked up as Donald Trump and his daughter giving each other "back rubs" after a long day of lying. That is about all for now, but remember, time is a finite resource...Treat it as such.

Mondamn!

Not sure about where you are, but here, it is Fan-Fucking-Tastic! Been a poopy start to summer until today. Today got it right. I am down at the library with Frizzo. We had to meet a couple of fools to collect some fetta. I'm jamming some Supercell oldies on MySpace and using the free wifi. Later, we are going to the big city to meet up with our Latino friend for some good old fashioned international diplomacy. Even later than that, back to world headquarters to finish off the studio improvements and lay some tracks. I spent a couple of hours yesterday tuning the drums and the sound is what can only be described as "tight". Also got some of those neoprene dampening pads for the top of the drums. Usually used to keep the sound down when practicing, but Frizzo loves the way they play, so we may incorporate them into a touchy-feely type slow dance song. Stay tuned. The M's took 2 out of 3 from the Cardinals over the weekend, so they are on the mend. I have gotten a shit-load done as far as getting the rest of my stuff out of the office. Then my sniveling little piss-ass of a brother can have the whole place to himself. He can work there, live there and die there. I got my boat motor back from Mage and it runs like a top. A gas powered, 2 stroke, top. Can't wait to get out on the water and do some fishing, might even have the juice to get out on the Sound and track down some salmon. Just popped into my head that we may be headed to the property, Leavenworth, and Lake Chelan over the 4th of July! I met this hippy chick on Offer-Up. I sold her my extensive Tarot card collection. Well, we got to talking, and she had some Cubensis. She was going to look into some for me. That would be perfect. Probably cannot afford to drive the motorhome, but, come to think of it, probably can't afford not to. We'll see how the money shakes out. Well, Frizzo is hangry, and just scored Shayla's EBT card. So I'm gonna make like the Republican Party and split! P.S. Fuck you to Trump and all his little flunkies.

Happy Friday From B and Frizzo

Down at the library, listening to Supercell on Myspace, and bloggin my Goddamned ass off. That is the kind of dedicated Mutherfucker I am. You're welcome. Let's see, what's new? Oh yeah, Frizzo got robbed at gunpoint Wednesday night and 200 dollars worth of company product disappeared without reimbursement. Yeah, I guess that's the textbook definition of "robbed". We will endure. We are nothing if not dedicated. Been jammin and moving the rest of my shit to my house. Got "The Shed" all pimped out. Ready for action. Next move? The hot tub!!!! Also, I've picked out the next song for recording.....Wait for it....Out Of My Mind! Stay tuned. In other news...Fucking rain. Fucking M's. Fucking Trump. Okay, that's all the news that's fit to spit. Peace and DEATH TO TRUMP!

Happy Father's Day!

I sure do miss you pops. I'm on the ferry headed to Seattle to pick up Frizzo. He has been sidewalk surfing all week and would appreciate if I would let him sleep over at CVWHQ for a bit. We are going to start a few hustles this week coming up. I really need to find some work. It looks as if I may have found some landscaping, all above board, and some guerrilla gardening, for the people! I need to find some legit income streams to boost my independence from Mother. The less I depend on her, the less stress she gets worrying about me and my worrisome habits. I am about halfway done moving my shit out of the office garage. Once dickhead moves in there, I won't feel welcome at all. That's alright. I'm going to make a nice little niche for myself at Dad's property. It's a beautiful day out today. The weather has been kind of crappy for the last two weeks, after a brilliant early spring. Tomorrow is the Summer Solstice. I am feeling pretty good about the direction of the Galaxy, after a bumpy ride the last week to ten days. I was feeling mighty discouraged until yesterday. All my troubles seemed like a gang of thieves. Stealing my hope and crushing my dreams. I just kept on grinding. Now I'm on the upswing. I'm never down for long.

New Shit Yo...

Knocked this puppy out in an evening. Might need some drums. We shall see.

Posting From The Library

Still no interweb at the headquarters. M's come back from down 10 runs last night. Wow. That is usually what happens to us, not the other way around. So last night I had one of my world famous epiphanies. I should go to school. Music producer school. I have already found a couple that looks like they could benefit from my brand of cool. It would be nice to get a new career since my old one evaporated. Plus, what has two thumbs and loves to produce music? This mutherfucker right here(points thumbs towards chest). I think this would be a blast. Now if I can pull off the financing, we would be golden. Be a good reason to stay off of the H too. I think that is the direction I will put my energy. Awesome. Thanks for listening. Gonna be super nice this weekend!

Rehab....Take Two ...Electric Boogaloo: Finding Balance.

Soooo. Back to treatment. I guess the first time didn't take. We already knew that though. I. Like.
To. Get. High. Period. I cannot imagine going through my whole life sober. What a fucking drag.
I can sure buy some time and try to find some alternate income streams to fall back on if I ain't having any fun. I wish I could find some balance. Wax on. Wax off. Wax on. So anyway. Shit. Wax off. Balance. I know the hot new theory is to say I have a brain disease. Yeah? Well, this brain disease I currently suffer from causes me to be an absolute creative genius. I didn't write any music until I started doing drugs. In my 2 1/2 years of being sober, I wrote zip. Nada. Nothin. I tried. Couldn't. I never created anything of depth or substance. Not only did I begin to create while on drugs, but invented clever complex work-arounds to make up for any lack of talent, experience, or equipment. I love the challenge of making something from nothing, and then working on it. Try to improve what you have created. Add depth. Innuendo. Layers. I get so much satisfaction from being creative, and I am always high. If I'm not getting high, I watch TV. Or read. I consume other people's art. I only make art when I am high. I suffer from a brain disease that causes me to get high and play music, Write lyrics. Learn how to play instruments and use complex equipment. How to use advanced software and the equipment to run it. It also causes unhealthy binges of being high 24/7, and that ain't good. But neither is being sober all the time. Balance. I must find it. Capture and enslave it. It must be mine. Balance. I'm coming for you