Banner Jump Joint...

GOVERNMENT CHEESE from The Banner Jump on Myspace.

Check this out...Rocktoberfest is upon us!

I found this dude on Youtube tonight. I was looking at videos on drum tuning. Turns out, he knows fucking everything in the world about music. I am very impressed with his knowledge. I am very grateful he decided to share. Check it out and subscribe and you will be a better you.
Rick Beato
In other news: My girl moved in. My LLC is going from my mind to your world. My face is 80% face and 20% 'fection. My M's are going to break my heart yet again, which is better than third place. My Dawgs are for-fucking-real. My Hawks are still unproven. My Sonics are still missing you fucking nazis. My mom is on the mend. I can pick my own brothers. My truck flames look like black gumby's. My yard is getting there. The weather has been cooperating. G is down the road and D is in the club. Shit has been good man, real good. For such a shitty summer weather-wise, it's been great, life-wise. That's all the news I choose for yous to chews. Later.

2 In A Day...

Here Ya Go-

Happy Father's Day!

I sure do miss you pops. I'm on the ferry headed to Seattle to pick up Frizzo. He has been sidewalk surfing all week and would appreciate if I would let him sleep over at CVWHQ for a bit. We are going to start a few hustles this week coming up. I really need to find some work. It looks as if I may have found some landscaping, all above board, and some guerrilla gardening, for the people! I need to find some legit income streams to boost my independence from Mother. The less I depend on her, the less stress she gets worrying about me and my worrisome habits. I am about halfway done moving my shit out of the office garage. Once dickhead moves in there, I won't feel welcome at all. That's alright. I'm going to make a nice little niche for myself at Dad's property. It's a beautiful day out today. The weather has been kind of crappy for the last two weeks, after a brilliant early spring. Tomorrow is the Summer Solstice. I am feeling pretty good about the direction of the Galaxy, after a bumpy ride the last week to ten days. I was feeling mighty discouraged until yesterday. All my troubles seemed like a gang of thieves. Stealing my hope and crushing my dreams. I just kept on grinding. Now I'm on the upswing. I'm never down for long.

Happy Mother's Day...

I am so balanced you couldn't knock me over with a bulldozer. Feeling super groovy. M's lost. Still, they are 18-13, first place...I ain't complaining. Been jammin my guitar hella. Been playing Days of the New and Gruntruck in the truck. Gotta go BBQ with Mom. BBQ'd with Valerie then went and had a beer with Frizzo, then went and had a beer with Pam. Balance. Busy. Time to get to work on all my little plans for taking over the world. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Rehab....Take Two ...Electric Boogaloo: Finding Balance.

Soooo. Back to treatment. I guess the first time didn't take. We already knew that though. I. Like.
To. Get. High. Period. I cannot imagine going through my whole life sober. What a fucking drag.
I can sure buy some time and try to find some alternate income streams to fall back on if I ain't having any fun. I wish I could find some balance. Wax on. Wax off. Wax on. So anyway. Shit. Wax off. Balance. I know the hot new theory is to say I have a brain disease. Yeah? Well, this brain disease I currently suffer from causes me to be an absolute creative genius. I didn't write any music until I started doing drugs. In my 2 1/2 years of being sober, I wrote zip. Nada. Nothin. I tried. Couldn't. I never created anything of depth or substance. Not only did I begin to create while on drugs, but invented clever complex work-arounds to make up for any lack of talent, experience, or equipment. I love the challenge of making something from nothing, and then working on it. Try to improve what you have created. Add depth. Innuendo. Layers. I get so much satisfaction from being creative, and I am always high. If I'm not getting high, I watch TV. Or read. I consume other people's art. I only make art when I am high. I suffer from a brain disease that causes me to get high and play music, Write lyrics. Learn how to play instruments and use complex equipment. How to use advanced software and the equipment to run it. It also causes unhealthy binges of being high 24/7, and that ain't good. But neither is being sober all the time. Balance. I must find it. Capture and enslave it. It must be mine. Balance. I'm coming for you

Big Day Planned at the Studio....

All of my peeps are gathering to get high and play music. Gonna be fun. Nice day out. Bout to go get Frizzzzzzzzo from the ferry. Hopefully I will have some material to put on Sound Clown. I am gonna hit this Purple Kush to settle my stomach and jam.

Day of the Dead.....Dance of the Dead

Today is the Mexican holiday Day of the Dead.  I love everything Mexican.  Except for their schwag brick weed.  If they could get their bullshit weed situation worked out, that would be a country on the rise.  Psssst. Mexico. Call me.  I got skills that pay the bills.  Any who, the Huskies are bowl eligible.  After beating Colorado in The Bud Bowl, college edition, we are 6-3.  Right about where everyone figured we'd be.  So far, pretty disappointing for yours truly.  I thought for sure Chris Peterson would be able to get a win against at least one of the big three, AZ state, Oregon, or Stanford.  I guess a win at UCLA would go a long way...Mariners lost Justin Smoak to Toronto last week.  I always liked the man.  Sorry things didn't work out.  Good luck Smoaky.  The Seattle Seahawks take on the lowly Raiders today in Seattle...What can I say about this?  C'mon Hawks!  Time to pad the stats and get some third stringers off the bench.  In weather, cloudy and 46* here, snowing in Foxborough for the Patriots and Broncos.  And lastly, Corrosion of Conformity have gotten the Blind lineup back together for one show...Wish I could see that!  Here's the song that started my long love affair with COC:

Peace and titties fools.

Seahawks Enrolled In Special Ed

The Rams special teams did in the Hawks, single-handedly back handing the champs who were handed their second straight loss.  Also, my reign as the worst fantasy football manager evah, yeah, that's still intact.  My UW Huskies got their asses kicked.  SK Wolves are horrible.  Enough football.  The weather? Fan-fucking-tastic. Sunny and 66*.  In my old life, I would be trimming up some huge kolas of some super fine Frieze.  I used to grow one out back by the bamboo every summer, and get about a pound of kind nugs yo.  In my new life, I'm growing bored.  I have way over a pound of that shit too yo.  I have to go to 3 AA or NA meetings every week. Weak.  Ever seen the movie "Fight Club"?  Well, I'm about to break the rules, and talk about "Fight Club".  Remember when Ed Norton Jr. can't sleep?  He starts going to all those 12 step meetings?  Yeah, that's exactly what a lame ass 12 step meeting is like, without all the editing.  Punishing.  Cult.  Brainwashing.  Reprogramming.  Well, this mutherfucker can reprogram his-self. I don't buy into all Bill W..hatever his name is's bullshit.  But, I signed on for this, so I will see it through.  That is the kind of stand up mutherfucker I am.  186 days until I get my mojo back.  Peace and titties.

Super Bowl Remix

Hawks win! Overtime thrilla....Dawgs pull out a respectable second half against Georgia State....Ms are fadin fast...Last day of summer, and oh was it a beauty!  My grass is back.  Ive been getting migraines, brain tumor? Stay tuned!  I weigh 200 lbs.  All fucking muscle...except for the fat.  I'm horrible at fantasy sports.  I'm hella good at real sports.  Fuck you fantasy nerds, you'd die for my glory day, pee wee football scrapbook. That's all the news that's fit to spit....Peace and titties.

Sup Ballers?

Me? Oh, I got two tickets on the train to Sobersville. Hmmmm. Where should I begin? How about the loud banging on the front door at a-quarter-to-oh-shit-the-pigs-are-here-with-a-warrant, on July 15th. It seems, according to the affidavit for search warrant, somebody ratted on yours truly. I KNOW, RIGHT? Anywho, I found myself in quite a pickle. Looking at no more pussy until 2018. Oh sure, I could have turned into a punk bitch and ratted out my hook, but then I would be a punk bitch rat. Unacceptable. Soooooooooo, I took drug court. 18 months of intense, supervised, reprogramming of my drug addict mind. Piss tests, NA, groups, one on ones, check ins, home searches, and court appearances once a week. If I succeed, charges dismissed. If I fail, 60 months in the joint. So far I have 76 days clean. No dope, no booze, no uppers, no downers, no shrooms, no doses, no lines, no tokes, no loads, no benzos, no dones, no subs, no kind nugs, no BTH, no pure, no shit, no white, no black, no crys, nothing. Just coffee, Rockstars, and Red Bulls. Super clean. Not too bad. Not as bad as I thought it would be. Even though I haven't used any mind altering substances, I still managed to fuck up a couple times. They found a crack pipe during a routine search of my room(Government plant, obviously!), for that I got 3 days in the hole. I missed a UA Saturday, I'm sure I'll get 3 more days when I go to court Friday. All in all, I consider myself lucky. I dodged a 5 year prison sentence, and I get to try a radical way of life that never would have happened if it weren't for some sorry little piss-poor piece of shit skating on a drug charge they couldn't/wouldn't do themselves. Well, instead of being bitter, I'm gonna turn a - into a + and hope the rat bitch uses their second chance to overdose or choke to death on their own vomit and do us all a solid....


In other news....Fucking Hawks!!!! 4-0. Fucking M's...71-91. Fucking Dawgs!!!! 4-0. Fucking Rain...Salmon are running up Blackjack Creek. Frankie, in an excellent example of how to be completely devoid of any wealth whatsoever, sold his drums, and bought smokes...Brilliant. Oh yeah, all of my guitars got ripped off while I was in jail, except for my Charvelle, which was in the pawnshop. Frank and Val managed, between them, to NOT extend my pawn ticket for 28 dollars, so I lost it too. Frank managed to call the wrong pawnshop and secure a guarantee of 30 extra days to pay off any loans, of which I had none.
I'm sure other things happened too, but that's all I can think of tonight....This has been all the news that's fit to spit...BDawg out.

It’s That Time Of Year Again…

Yeeeeesssssss folks, crunch time in the NFL. The second half of a brutal schedule that has all the teams playing 16 out of 17 weeks, and then, if earned, PLAYOFFS! My team, the Seattle Seahawks, are occupying the last NFC birth, with a favorable schedule the rest of the way. While not a lock, it appears the Hawks will make the playoffs and have a punchers chance to go deep. I sure would like to see what Matt Flynn can do before we write him off. After a bye this past weekend, we head south to Miami to face a beatable Dolphins team that has nothing to play for….Go Hawks!

Let’s see, what’s new? Well, Jake hit the road, Frank hit Jake, Val hit the benzos and I keep writing hit after hit. Oh yeah, while I was in the bathroom droppin’ the duce, Washington legalized Marijuana!!!! Not bad, not bad. I can’t say that I am all for a dangerous drug like weed being sold everywhere, but I trust you to handle it WA.

One month to go until total Armageddon, and I still don’t know what I’m gonna wear. I got a new Nike hoodie for my b-day, black, some new converse kicks, also black. Two new hats, both Nike, one red and black the other black. If I combine this stuff with some black levis, and some black skivvies, I should be ready for the total destruction of life as we know it, plus I already have a date. By the way, I’m throwing a little pre-funk on 12-12-12 at 12:12pm, It also happens to be my girls b-day! We are getting along famously.

I am trying to sell this house before it gets repo’d. I’m trying to get a badass motorhome out of the deal, so I will be comfy at my property next summer. Julie, Matt’s keeper, is one loud ass beeatch. If she shut-the-fuck-up right now, it wouldn’t be quick enough. Been colder than a witches titty, Maiden is looking great, vibrant and healthy. I finished the bathroom, almost done with the living room. Band is creeping towards something. And my room is still the most popular place on the planet.

Say…Didn’t you used to…

Play drums at my Bethel apt? Oh yeah, you and me got railroaded by the man. Well, you got railroaded, I got slightly city bussed or perhaps mildly taxi cabbed. Good news though, your destination is coming up in 63 miles, uh, I mean days. But you probably know that.. eh Fingers?  I can’t wait to hear your lazy ass muck up some double bass, after day 11 of our first run back.  27 gauge to the under-shoulder, Paul Stanly style. Your move.

In other news…I GOT MY KRAMER BACK!!!!!!!!!!! Hell ya lula! Praise the Gorge! Power to the Peehole.  As you can see in this picture, the Kramer is quite musically inclined.  Now, I just need to secure a line six pod xt live…. And it is on mutherfuckers…..Oh… It’s on, IT IS ON.

So here I am, following in Richards footsteps, even though, early on, I thought we were nothing alike. But, alas, I live in the same house he lived in, same hobbies, same worship of “things”. Same job title…Retired…Only I have a masters degree in Crimes. Not only that, I am learning to finish the 10,000 little projects before we move on to others. Got my lawnmower and weed whacker running this week…Grass, your ass is grass.

Gonna play with my video and audio equipment all weekend, then come Monday, it’s back to the grind…Of sleeping in and playing with my toys, and my girl. Or is that, sleeping in my girl and playing with my toys. Either way, IT IS ON.

I listened to Iron Maiden’s Somewhere in Time, in its entirety today. Just to be clear. Irene Maiden rules, Iron Maiden drools, SuperCell schools fools. I’m out. Peace and Titties mutherfucks.