WTF?! Is Branden even Baked? Read below to Find The Fuck Out....

Well well, what have we here? A fresh new post, post respite, I suppose. Me? Oh, I've been fighting the good fight, pursuing revenge to an unhealthy level, chasing demons, pussy, and of course, the dragon. I've managed to stay out of trouble. No. Nope. Haven't done that exactly. I've managed to stay under the radar, participating in the usual amount of trouble. No cops in my life, knock on wood. Since last we spoke, I have lost the girl, had the girl return, ravished the girl(to prove a point), then banished the girl. Now, I am at peace with the(much heavier) girl just being a friend. I had a tattoo installed on my calf, had another one updated, and had my first one refreshed. I have the studio running and have been using it regularly. My dog died😢. I have resisted the urge to get a new one. I am enjoying the freedom from responsibility. I now have a troop of rabbits that live under my shed. They are eating my landscaping, but are an asset to the yard overall. I've nearly completed my side-yard project which includes a new deck and a water feature. I have had a new roommate for a year this month. She is a peach, and we share many passions, well, dope. My old roommate Dave Pettit Garcia, got shot in the face and murdered. RIP Dave. I miss you buddy. Frankie is doing well, living on a couch in East Brem. And finally, the 900 lb. gorilla in the room, Donald Fucking Trump. As with Baby Bush, I fear he will be re-elected. I hate what this cuntry has become. This cunt is running game on us you fucktards! The Republicans are a joke, and the joke is on us. I'm not even going to waste my typing trying to motivate anyone to vote Democrat. You either get it, or you suck. I will hope for the best and plan for the worst. Btw, you might want to grab some ice or snow and sock it away in your freezer so the grandkids will have some idea what things were like in the past.
Revolution and titties motherfuckers-



P.S. How 'bout them M's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trump. Nope.

So, as I recover from an unfortunately placed abscess, I am watching, reading, listening. I know Trump has already done enough to justify impeachment. Not that I am foolish enough to think the crooked Republicans would even think about that. Hell, they may even investigate Hillary before they focus on the most unethical man to hold public office since Mayor Berry of D.C. So I wait. When Trump is sworn in, when he begins to deny people their constitutional rights, then if our congress fails to act, it will fall upon all able bodied men. And we will act. At least the real men will. We will be staring the end of the USA in the fucking face, and those that conspire with tyrants will be remembered, mark my words.

In other news: I got a Google Pixel. My brother is such a cunt. I'm going to Phoenix for M's spring training. VP and JP are moving to Manchester. It has been below freezing for weeks. My electrical is still fucked up. I have some big projects planned for the nice weather. Dry wells, drain field improvement, tree removal, new shop. Later, and keep up the resistance!

I'm Not Sure If....

I'm not sure if this month is 'Toberin, but it's for sure Rockin.
This is FUCKING HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON HUSKIES FOOTBALL IS RANKED #5!!!!!!!
Two of the top four are from the Big Ten Conference and play each
other on November 26. That leaves a clear path for the Dawgs to
make the College Football Playoffs 2016! Damn Coach, that was
pretty fucking quick. You da man! Don James would be proud of the
team you've put together. OKG for real. These kids battle...And
win. There is a lot of season to go but I have waited a long time
to get back to a place we always knew we belonged. The top of the
heap baby. I'm livin on top of it. I'm livin on top of the heap!

In other news:
I got another section of fence up today. Completed one speaker stand. Got the computer switched over to an SSD. Have to go to Tukwila in a minute. Gonna get some new strings for my death-fiddle. I have cotton-mouth right now something(Sompthin)fierce. Hella baked yo. Mutherfuckin pie eyed. All my thoughts expressed as nods. Best intentions somehow lost. Your throat constricts, this burning thirst. Milkshake in hand, fortunes reversed. Your eager slurps betray the need. Fight through the pain, give in to greed. Milkshake consumed with reckless speed. Blood runs out of both ears, eyes defiant through the tears. Some kind of record that day he siezed, though died from massive cerebral cortex freeze. Gave old "Can't stop talking about work" the business so bad, he's gonna quit smoking heroin and be a NA superstar. Just think, all of those captive listeners. I'm Joe Carpenter and I'm an addict. Just yesterday I spent six hours making a movie about the half-hour of work I did. Then I went on Facebook and told everyone that I only have four dollars cause of all of my responsibilities. Even though I live in my Dad's basement. So I guess I'm just a super duper duche bag. Oh well, thanks for letting me share. Fuck you Opie. I couldn't care less if I never saw you again. It poured down rain yesterday. M's lost in extra innings and are out. Great fucking year. Again we are the champions of the teams that didn't make the playoffs. I'm gonna take the foosball table apart so I can put lights in and get a table for my house. I've got a great plan, can't wait to see it all in place. Tried to sell the table(BLASPHEMY!), but Smackpaka didn't follow through with a supposed sure-thing. Oh wow, big fucking surprise. That's okay, when I don't have any projects, I'll peel all of the laminate off of the table, get new, hip, modern laminate and re-finish it. Put in the coin box and get new rods and bushings, oh hell yeah! Gonna be the best fucking foose evah! Sticky Fingers Frizzo is stealing splash cymbals lately. We now have 2. Getting ready to put Christmas gifts on layaway. I have four hundred followers on Instagram. Val is swollen. Trump is a super fucking asshole grifter and if you vote for him, lose my number, shit for brains. Hawks handled the Jets and moved to 3-1. I'm gonna get Lisa's carry and take some time off of my (H)obby. I need some more face and mind healing time. I am still winning, but no reason to coast now. Well, my little sycophants, that's all the news that's hip to ship

Check this out...Rocktoberfest is upon us!

I found this dude on Youtube tonight. I was looking at videos on drum tuning. Turns out, he knows fucking everything in the world about music. I am very impressed with his knowledge. I am very grateful he decided to share. Check it out and subscribe and you will be a better you.
Rick Beato
In other news: My girl moved in. My LLC is going from my mind to your world. My face is 80% face and 20% 'fection. My M's are going to break my heart yet again, which is better than third place. My Dawgs are for-fucking-real. My Hawks are still unproven. My Sonics are still missing you fucking nazis. My mom is on the mend. I can pick my own brothers. My truck flames look like black gumby's. My yard is getting there. The weather has been cooperating. G is down the road and D is in the club. Shit has been good man, real good. For such a shitty summer weather-wise, it's been great, life-wise. That's all the news I choose for yous to chews. Later.

Interwebs, come September....

Shout out to Frizzo, for taking care of bizzo. Now, I can air my dirty laundry on the interwizzo. Fo shizzle. ENOUGH! If your cracker-ass mind was unable to decipher my street-jive, I was merely rejoicing at the fact that the Clover Valley house has high speed internet service, and a decent cable package. If that wasn't enough good news, my girl called me up and said, "come and get me". So I did. And the girl got, got. So I'm going to run up to Wallyworld and grab some milk for my ice cream tonight, and my Fruit Loops with Mutherfucking Marshmallows, tomorrow morning, bitch.

The summer has left with a pussy-like whimper. That's okay. Fall is an especially kick ass time of year here in the PNW. The trout bite again. The forest beckons. The Seahawks, oh, the mighty Seahawks! The M's just miss the playoffs for the 67th year in a row. The Huskies begin their quest towards relevancy. That smell...Arrives with the school bells and lingers until after Thanksgiving. We have really gotten a lot of projects done over this summer. Now, with time running out, we must pull together as a team and button up all of the loose ends. Not a lot, but, important just the same. A little pixie dust, makes opiated into...OPIATED!!!! Now that we are back on the grid, I will be able to dole out every delicious detail. It will be as if you were riding on my shoulder like Toucan Sam.........................Good day peeps, good damn day.

Well into August and still no Interweb....

At the Clover Valley World Headquarters. I'll tell you, despite the obvious financial snafus, I am definitely on the mend. I've been spending time with my favorite girl! Now, I'm not gonna try and say I understand the workings of this most mysterious female's most mysterious mind, but it would appear, to my limited observational skills, that she is into me again. Maybe she is, maybe I'm delusional, either way, I'm gonna go with the flow and enjoy the moment and let the deets fall where they may. I spent the whole day today, and several hours last night working on a song. It's a story about a drug-obsessed entrepreneur, who just wants to marry great service and low prices with the black market drug trade. Now, I've been known to sling a bit, back in 2013, but any reference to illegal activities is either fiction or history. With that disclaimer, I give you this:














Be kind when critiquing my work. I donate all the moneys to BALPAC. For this and other Indi-gems, check out my soundclown page HERE
Also:Upper 90's try to save this shitty ass summer. M's are making a show of trying to get into the playoffs...We'll see if they have the juice. Hawks are looking like the shit yet again. We will be deep into the playoffs if not the big one. Dawgs are ranked 7th by SI!!! Have two of seven panels done on the new fence. The shop is 90% done. Almost done with the headliner on my truck. The bed of the truck is done, painted on liner and truck box. HotTub is on the ground, 30 feet from it's final destination. The studio is stone cold pimpin'. Too many improvements to mention in a news feed, stay tuned for an in depth report. For more Branden than you can shake your tits at, follow my Instagram @brandenhuff. That's all the news that's fit to spit...Peace and #DumpTrump

Mondamn!

Not sure about where you are, but here, it is Fan-Fucking-Tastic! Been a poopy start to summer until today. Today got it right. I am down at the library with Frizzo. We had to meet a couple of fools to collect some fetta. I'm jamming some Supercell oldies on MySpace and using the free wifi. Later, we are going to the big city to meet up with our Latino friend for some good old fashioned international diplomacy. Even later than that, back to world headquarters to finish off the studio improvements and lay some tracks. I spent a couple of hours yesterday tuning the drums and the sound is what can only be described as "tight". Also got some of those neoprene dampening pads for the top of the drums. Usually used to keep the sound down when practicing, but Frizzo loves the way they play, so we may incorporate them into a touchy-feely type slow dance song. Stay tuned. The M's took 2 out of 3 from the Cardinals over the weekend, so they are on the mend. I have gotten a shit-load done as far as getting the rest of my stuff out of the office. Then my sniveling little piss-ass of a brother can have the whole place to himself. He can work there, live there and die there. I got my boat motor back from Mage and it runs like a top. A gas powered, 2 stroke, top. Can't wait to get out on the water and do some fishing, might even have the juice to get out on the Sound and track down some salmon. Just popped into my head that we may be headed to the property, Leavenworth, and Lake Chelan over the 4th of July! I met this hippy chick on Offer-Up. I sold her my extensive Tarot card collection. Well, we got to talking, and she had some Cubensis. She was going to look into some for me. That would be perfect. Probably cannot afford to drive the motorhome, but, come to think of it, probably can't afford not to. We'll see how the money shakes out. Well, Frizzo is hangry, and just scored Shayla's EBT card. So I'm gonna make like the Republican Party and split! P.S. Fuck you to Trump and all his little flunkies.

Happy Friday From B and Frizzo

Down at the library, listening to Supercell on Myspace, and bloggin my Goddamned ass off. That is the kind of dedicated Mutherfucker I am. You're welcome. Let's see, what's new? Oh yeah, Frizzo got robbed at gunpoint Wednesday night and 200 dollars worth of company product disappeared without reimbursement. Yeah, I guess that's the textbook definition of "robbed". We will endure. We are nothing if not dedicated. Been jammin and moving the rest of my shit to my house. Got "The Shed" all pimped out. Ready for action. Next move? The hot tub!!!! Also, I've picked out the next song for recording.....Wait for it....Out Of My Mind! Stay tuned. In other news...Fucking rain. Fucking M's. Fucking Trump. Okay, that's all the news that's fit to spit. Peace and DEATH TO TRUMP!

WTF Happened To Summer?

The weather!?!? It's like a certain girl I often refer to. One day, sunny and 75. The next day, it pours down rain so hard, you fear for tender seedlings everywhere. I guess the solstice was Monday, so maybe I should cool down, but this was supposed to be an El Nino year! My yard is loving the rain, though. It's so pimped out the Sherriff keeps sending undercovers to try and buy a blowjob. Me and Frizzo jammed some old assed SuperCell songs today. I think I will try to resurrect one and give it a modern twist. Out is the name of the one I'm thinking of. Stay tuned to my Sound Town account. Been selling my extra shit on offer up. Made a fistful of dollars so far. Now I need some work. Plenty out there. Just need to keep grinding. A trip out to the property in Okanogan is in my near future, there has got to be some good news there. M's are tanking. Cav's won the NBA title. Hawks are looking good, got a good feeling about this year! Been laying off of the go-fast until tonight. Donald Trump is a jackass of historic proportions. I hope Clinton gets Elisabeth Warren to be VP...LOVE her! Huskies are all optimistic predictions, now all we have to do is beat Oregon.

Posting From The Library

Still no interweb at the headquarters. M's come back from down 10 runs last night. Wow. That is usually what happens to us, not the other way around. So last night I had one of my world famous epiphanies. I should go to school. Music producer school. I have already found a couple that looks like they could benefit from my brand of cool. It would be nice to get a new career since my old one evaporated. Plus, what has two thumbs and loves to produce music? This mutherfucker right here(points thumbs towards chest). I think this would be a blast. Now if I can pull off the financing, we would be golden. Be a good reason to stay off of the H too. I think that is the direction I will put my energy. Awesome. Thanks for listening. Gonna be super nice this weekend!

MySpace is still breathing...

My page is still up. My Supercell page is too. Trippy. All those songs just waiting to be listened to. Now we do Soundcloud. Why not just stick to MySpace? I do not know. Good question. Been jammin though, so soon new crap on Soundcloud or MySpace or whatever. Me and Frankie are cleaning out the garage at the office so I thought I'd use the internet to post some shit. Also grab a few GOT episodes. M's got beat by the Twins, but are still kicking ass.

I'll Blog When I Can...

When I can't, I'll just pray to sweet baby Jesus. My Interweb is off. Why? In the existential meaning, who knows? In the literal, cause we didn't pay the mutherfucking bill yo. Money is tight. Decisions had to be made. Don't you worry your pretty little head though, Branden has got a few hustles in the works. I'm about to pick up Katy and go to a S.M.A.R.T. recovery meeting. What is smart recovery you ask? No you did not. Who the hell is Katy is what you were wondering? Well, let me say "none of your beeswax". I'm not sure exactly. I hope to know more after this fine evening. The weather is not sure if it's crappy or happy. M's are doing just fine. Won today against the O's 7-2. That makes us 23-17, first fucking place. MmHmmmm. First series loss at home by the O's. M's are for real. Katy is a peach. I met her at rehab. She made rehab fun. Yes, I like her a lot. Yes like that. Well, I don't know. I think so, but I will let her decide for herself. No, I don't kiss and tell. Hahaha. Yes, I do. Get this, she is a singer. I know. She could be "the one". We will definitely let her lay down some vox. So, I gotta go live this shit before I have anything to blog about...Later peeps.

I Create My Own Reality

Some people would call this "self absorbed". In my reality those people are dicks. I control how I perceive things...So, perception is reality. To a point. If I perceive the road is clear and step out in front of a bus, well, my reality ends. At the same time, if I choose to focus on the fact that it is sunny at my house, the M's are in first place, I have my health, I'm not on paper, etc. I perceive the world as a kick ass place. If I focus on Trump and his minions, and all of the shit I hate, I could wallow in self-pity, and maybe even spread that shit. Just for today...I will have a good fucking time.

Mariners are in...

FFP. First Fucking Place. 19-13. Cano is a beast. Cruz too. Fun team....If they can keep on keeping on. Gonna be 75^ and sunny in the Pacific North West. Global warming Fo Show. Let's see, what is chapping Branden's ass today? Oh, the usual. Trump and his cum dumpsters. Racists. Ass-holes. Dicks. Pussies. Facebook seems to feel like a safe place for these people to try to justify their warped beliefs. I just stay silent...Naw, just joking. I give 'em the business. For it is my natural state to smack down idiots. The thing about conservatives, they think they are tough. They are just scared little pussies, who point and snivel at anything that isn't white, Christian, and that is so sad. Just for today: Today I will point out social injustice and speak the truth.

Happy Mother's Day...

I am so balanced you couldn't knock me over with a bulldozer. Feeling super groovy. M's lost. Still, they are 18-13, first place...I ain't complaining. Been jammin my guitar hella. Been playing Days of the New and Gruntruck in the truck. Gotta go BBQ with Mom. BBQ'd with Valerie then went and had a beer with Frizzo, then went and had a beer with Pam. Balance. Busy. Time to get to work on all my little plans for taking over the world. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

12/13/14

We haven't had a numerologist's boner like this since the apocalyptic swing and miss of 12/12/12.  Let's see.  What's new?  Well, I had a couple of hernias surgically repaired on Thursday.  So after I'm all healed up, my body will once again be flawless.  The Huskies are playing in the Cactus Bowl on the 2nd of January.  The Huskies basketball team is undefeated after destroying #13 SDSU.  The Seahawks are peaking at just the right time and after destroying SF, AZ, and Philly, we get SF at our place tomorrow.  The Mariners landed Nelson Cruz, and are trying to sign Melky Cabrera.  Fucking A it's a good time to be a sports fan in the great NW.  GIVE US OUR SONICS BACK YOU NAZI BASTARDS!!!!  In pussy news....My girls birthday yesterday.  Happy BDay Valerie.  Are we back together?  No.  Not yet.  Someday perhaps.  Am I giving her money?  Uh...Yeah.  Is she fucking me?  More ways than one grasshopper, more ways than one.  But, by not locking me down, this allows the dirty dog to roam....In other news, cops kill unarmed citizens with impunity.  Bill Cosby is a sick motherfucker...Corporate welfare continues to destroy democracy.  Global climate change rages unchecked...It was 68* here 3 days ago. 131 days of bondage, followed by sweet, sweet freedom. Peace and titties.

How To Pick Up Women....

My favorite way?  Pull the truck over and ask 'em if they need a ride.

 Works best when it's cold out and they are carrying a garbage bag full of clothes.  Sooooo, any who, that's what I did Saturday.  Dropped off crazy chick #1, went to an AA meeting full of dudes, then I picked up crazy chick #2.  Today my life is 2/3rd full of crazy chicks.  That ends up being more than the USDA recommended daily allowance.  I can handle it yo.  In other news....Dawgs got beat....Hawks pull it out in the 4th quarter....Polar vortex bearing down on the Clover Valley....Won my 3rd game in Fantasy Football.....New Pink Floyd dropped....165 Days left of bondage....Brandensbaked has left the building.

Day of the Dead.....Dance of the Dead

Today is the Mexican holiday Day of the Dead.  I love everything Mexican.  Except for their schwag brick weed.  If they could get their bullshit weed situation worked out, that would be a country on the rise.  Psssst. Mexico. Call me.  I got skills that pay the bills.  Any who, the Huskies are bowl eligible.  After beating Colorado in The Bud Bowl, college edition, we are 6-3.  Right about where everyone figured we'd be.  So far, pretty disappointing for yours truly.  I thought for sure Chris Peterson would be able to get a win against at least one of the big three, AZ state, Oregon, or Stanford.  I guess a win at UCLA would go a long way...Mariners lost Justin Smoak to Toronto last week.  I always liked the man.  Sorry things didn't work out.  Good luck Smoaky.  The Seattle Seahawks take on the lowly Raiders today in Seattle...What can I say about this?  C'mon Hawks!  Time to pad the stats and get some third stringers off the bench.  In weather, cloudy and 46* here, snowing in Foxborough for the Patriots and Broncos.  And lastly, Corrosion of Conformity have gotten the Blind lineup back together for one show...Wish I could see that!  Here's the song that started my long love affair with COC:

Peace and titties fools.

Dawgs Fall and Fall Shines

Fucking Huskies! Had every opportunity to win this one. WTF was up with that fake punt?  Hmmmm. Not sure, but it sucked.  A lot of football to be played yo.  M's are hanging by a thread. If Oakland wins again or we lose again it's over.  No Seahawks this week.  I'm still looking for my first win in my fantasy league, Mac attacks minions. The weather is fucking awesome today.  Sunny and 66.  Today is day 438 of my sobriety experiment. 209 days until I get my mojo back. Peace and titties yo.

Ouch!!!!

Oh Mariners, where art thou? Three back with five left. Can I get a little "refuse to lose" from 1995? I think I'm just going to go ahead and stick a fork in 'em.  This year was magical, yo.  My only problem is the fact that it was over before the money-shot.  Kind of like if you meet this chick at the bar, right?  She is okay.  But her body is killer.  The body, that's my metaphor for Robinson Cano. You get this bitch back to the crib, and she is puttin on a show, yo.  Blowin your mind.  Her mouth, oh, her magical mouth....That's the M's bullpen.  So, your scroggin away for 145 games, and it's a dream.  She's screamin, your moanin.  Shit is falling off the shelves. Neighbors are like, get that bitch an Emmy 'cause she's puttin on a show, yo.  But then, the little lady starts looking at the clock, right?  Your all like, "What's wrong baby?" She's all, "My boyfriend freaks the fuck out if I'm not home by 3." Then, she says, "I'm sorry, I gotta go."  Your all, "Wait, I haven't, um, ya know, cum yet." And she says, "We'll cum next year, see ya in spring training." Damn...