Fucking Rawk Out With My Crock Out! Yes folks, time for another installment of: Cooking with Brandensbaked! Today, we’re going to learn how to prepare one of my all time favorite delicacies… Maple and brown sugar oatmeal! All right, I am so excited to share this wonderful dish. It is such a comfort food, you can really brighten someone's day, ya know, if say they found out they had cancer, or maybe their kitty cat was mauled by a pit bull and had to be put down. Anyway, let’s gather up our equipment and ingredients. First you need a good sturdy ceramic bowl, around three cups. Next, you’ll need a spoon. I like to use one of the ones in my drawer, but you can grab one off the floor if you have to. The next item on our equipment list, a measuring cup. The final piece of cooking gear, you guessed it, the microwave! Now for the ingredients. First off, one or two packets of maple and brown sugar flavored instant oatmeal. I like Quaker but you can use the store brand if your a tight ass mutherfucker, it’s up to you. Next is good old H2O, or as it’s better known, water! I like to see the look of confusion on peoples faces when I use the chemical term, they think I’m some kind of scientist or a teacher or something. Then when I tell them it’s just a fancy word for water, they’re like, whoa. So, moving on. Pour the packet or packets of instant oatmeal into the microwave safe bowl. Next, measure some of the aqua, or water, and pour that in the bowl also. Now here’s a little secret. If you like it runny, add a tich more water, or for thicker oatmeal, a little less water. Put the mixture into the microwave, and set it for 1-2 minutes on high. This time will vary according to the wattage of the microwave. When it’s done, pull it out, and set it on the counter. Next, were gonna add about a quarter cup of 2% milk. You should substitute non-fat if you’re feet are hidden from you’re view when you look down. The final ingredient is golden brown sugar. Sweeten to taste, and, voila! Enjoy yourself, or brighten someone else's day! In other news: I’ve changed the font of the blog to Franklin Gothic Heavy, to symbolize my solidarity with Frankie Fingers who is currently being held prisoner by the state of Idaho. Please, if you know the governor of Idaho, or have any kind of political influence, or if you know something that could be used to blackmail the governor, write us here at the blog so that we may get Frank out of prison, and back here playing drums with me. In sports, Tim Tebow led the Denver Broncos to an overtime victory over the hated Pittsburg Steelers, thus proving everyone wrong. Time after time Tim trashes conventional wisdom, much like the author of this blog. The blog the so called experts would never get past the first year. Well guess what? I’m still here, and some of those experts have died. So ha ha ha ha. Who’s laughing now? Dead people? Nope. Me. Also, the twitter was tweeting that the M’s are not in the hunt for Prince. That sucks. In weather, it’s clear and cold here, please look outside to see the weather where you are. In consumer news, my friend has some bad ass weed for sale. In music, Supercell put up some new songs on their website so check it out. In romance, I am still the world’s most eligible bachelor, so lock up your daughter, lock up your wife, lock up your back door, run for your life. Okay world, that’s all the news you need, this has been brandensbaked reporting…Goodnight.
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