Dr. Flashlight made an unannounced appearance Monday night, when a rare spring power outage struck the beach drive community like a mule-kick to the scrotum. Luckily, we still had laptops and iPods and leds and candles. Yes, the candles are more of an atmosphere enhancer than a tool, but we had ‘em. Not having interweb or Netflix or HDTV blasted by a 40 inch photon cannon is a bummer. On the bright side of this blackout, we are saving a shitload of electricity. Maiden got ahold of one a them there house-coons, right in front of the porch. Well, I looks over to the ol’lady, and she says, “Get that Goddamned coon girl!” Well, seein as I’s the one be payin’ any vet bills, I called her off. Funny, in the book “Where the Red Fern Grows”, they make coon hunting seem like brain-surgery crossed with Non-linear algebraic Nano-licking butt-fuckery. Come to find out, just live here. The mutherfuckers come up to the front door and ring the Goddamned doorbell. They aren’t even smart enough to leave a flaming bag of shit. Stupid coons. Added some spores to a sterile bag of rye berries today, I wonder what will happen? I’ve been led to believe, If my heart is pure, I will be shown a wondrous place, full of magic and forgotten knowledge. Maybe even a secret source of ju-ju. At the very least, enough braincain to land four dimensions from this shit-plane. I believe the flavor is Virginia Creeper. Anyway, a funny thing happened the other day, Valerie asked me if Ozzy did the “Dog the Bounty Hunter” theme song. “No fucking way”, was my immediate response. Well, after hearing it again, I looked it up. Fuck me. He is schlepping for Dog. Now that got me to thinking. What a fucking crime-fighting dream team. Ozzy’s brains, and Dog’s brains. Wow. Fucking blow-my-mind. God left his finger prints all over that one. In sports, the M’s had the day off after taking 2 of 3 from the Philly's. Loving this team. Dustin Ackley was called up for this series, and performed as advertised. Now it’s off to Washington DC to play the Nationals. M’s are like 36-34 or around there. A game out of first. Totally unexpected success this season. I guess we probably have a few of those years owed to us…I won an auction for a Behringer 1204fx-pro mixing board for 76 bucks. Now I will have some phantom power for my mxl 990 condenser mic. I shall be in a position to capture the sound of my acoustic vision. The duality of summer and freedom. A musical version of a bicentennial quarter.
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