Bush's smokescreen foiled by Wead

Oh, that liberal biased press. They are freaking out, about Bush toking out. It turns out, Bush confidant Dick Wead, was recording their phone conversations in 1998. The super secret strategy sessions, mostly pertained to the upcoming presidential election. Issues like prior pot use, or hick/evangelical secret code words. Brandensbaked has acquired a partial copy of the alleged transcripts, which were delivered anonymously to Brandensbaked World News Headquarters, sometime Wednesday morning, before we got up. Here is a sample of their alleged conversation: "I don't like a lot of seeds in my dope" Bush complained. "Them pussy liberal, tree-hugging assholes in the NorthWest are hogging all the chronic" Wead replied. Bush, after blowing out a pipe hit, exclaimed "When I'm elected president, I'm gonna get a fat sack of stinky green bud, and smoke out in the shitter, on AirForce One. Then I'm gonna eat me a Texas sized bowl of Fruity Pebbles, and watch the Beavis and Butthead DVD, Jeb got me fer Christmas". Wead: "You fucker, hook me up"! Bush: "Okay but keep it on the downlow, if Laura thinks I'm stoned, she won't let me touch her". Wead: "Gimme your pager number". Bush: "Don't page me twenty times a day, fucker. I'll call you when I hook it up". Wead: "Dude, don't sweat it".
Now, I'm not sure if this conversation actually took place. No one is. Until the actual tapes are released, we can only speculate on the transcripts accuracy. I can, however, confirm, that we in the NW are indeed liberal, at least those of us with an I.Q. above 80(mine is 144, ha!). I also must admit, that a tree feels pretty good to hug, although that's between me and the tree and the midget and the stripper. Finally, since the word is out, I will admit, that we are indeed, hoarding the lions share, of the country's green bud supply. As to the rest of the conversation, I'm just reporting it the way I heard it. Should the transcripts be proven accurate, it only confirms what most of us suspected, it's tough to speak in public when your fucking baked. Have you ever ruled the world... on weed? It's a trip.