What do silence, river rafting and Amish girls have in common? Me. Yes, me. On Sunday, me and my peeps were doing the dew on the mighty Yakima river, when several things happened. The first was my beloved Motorola V710 fell victim to my stoned-ass attention span. See, I like to keep it in my little pocket on the leg of my denim shorts, it is easy to access, and it doesn't get in the way of my pocket pool. When I waded in balls deep, the phone could only accept it's fate with mute bravery. Now, with no way to contact the world outside of headquarters, I suffer in silence.
While the Amish girls were not in any of my pockets, they did offer an interesting twist to the trip, right around what BooRadly fondly refers to as "Pecker Point". This is a 30 foot tall, towering mass of rock, that begs the drunks to jump. Oh, and the drunks oblige. My posse pulled off at the beach which accesses the rock, to hopefully witness some pain(from guys) or some t&a(from the girls). Thank Allah, we gots both. I sidled up to a fine ass brunette in a bikini to watch the show. Shortly after, a boat load of Amish teens pulled their horse drawn raft over, and a couple of girls in ankle length dresses and bonnets(no shit) began to climb up the rock. I turned to the betty next to me and said, "if that bitch jumps, I'll jump". Well, that bitch fucking jumped. Fuck. Me and my big mouth. So I climbed up and jumped. Nothing bad came of it, except a couple of bruised butt cheeks. Hawkeye soon followed with his trademarked grace(read-went in cockeyed). Now the good part. The hot brunette climbed up the rock, jumped and came out of the water with one mighty fine titty hanging right where brandensbaked likes, out in the fresh air. Mmmmmm. Thanks. If only the camera phone could have lived to share the moment with us. Peace and titties mutherfuckers.
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