An Angel came to me last night. At first I was scared. The angel said, "suck it up pussy, I'm not here to harm you."
"Why then?" I whispered.
"To remind you of God's plan for your life" the being replied.
"Don't tell me God's plan, for I am a prophet. And why aren't you wearing pants?" I asked.
"They make me look fat, now listen" the angel implored.
"You are to take the flock and shepherd them to the truth" floating above me, the angel continued. "You are to disseminate knowledge of carnal pleasures to the people and give out nuggets of useful and useless information, and most importantly, you must smoke as much of the chronic as you can, lest the non-believers use it to dazzle the souls that stray".
"Duh!" I spat. "I already do that. Read the fucking blog you stupid angel."
With that, it disappeared.
Other stuff: With the bright sunlight this time of year, it is important to remember to pluck the long hairs wherever they grow wild, or your silhouette is sure to reveal your primal monkey ears.
Nose hair is another summertime no no. Keep it short, for it is like neck hair, but in the front.
Ten days to CI, eleven to the show.
Peace and titties, cash money plays.
No comments:
Post a Comment