I Wish.....

I Wish- is a new feature that I thought might help you, the brandensbaked groupie, to marvel at my wonderful dream filled world. I wish Bill Clinton would give Ann Coulter a facial, live, on the Hannity and Colmbs show. Sean would be absentmindedly touching himself, while Allen marveled slack-jawed as the Democratic icon demonstrated the industry standard. Ann, here is a moist towlette from my bucket-o-chicken, we're done with you. No, you can't talk about your book, unless someone else needs a target, get your clothes and hit the road. No,we'll call you. Yes, you are a cum guzzling gutter slut. You have something on your....No, lower. No, over in the corner, yeah, on your lip. You got it. Here's ten for a cab. Thanks for your, uh, skills. I wish Bill Clinton got away with his indiscretions. I wish lil Bush would just fuck himself, and leave us out of it. I wish I were president, no wait, the King of North America. I wish Bill O'Riley would die slowly of painful testicular cancer. I wish they would finish the x files right, and Scully would finally take her shirt off. I wish Janet Jackson's boob popped out at half time of every Superbowl. I wish the Bush twins lived next door to me. Hot twins are my kind of coincidence. Word. Shannon & Charron. Heather & Belinda. Carol & Camie. I wish all hot chicks had twins, or trip- trip- triplets, and I wish all the ugly girls would turn Muslim and cover their unattractive heads the fuck up. I wish I had enough hot twins to completely cover me in titty skin. Remember Easy Rider had the earmuff picture, but the muffs were tits? Classic. Globes of flesh. I wish there were other news. Hey it worked. In other news....
Sam Long is pregnant. Mike quit Y. There is no "Y" in team. There is no "Y" in brandensbaked, but is there brandens baked in "Y"? Ozzfest is Aug. 11. Me and Mike went to the first Ozzfest at the Tacoma Dome in 1996. One word- DANZIG! I have finished the Charvel/Jackson I've been working on for four years. It is my legacy. Dropped an EMG-81 in the bridge position. I also tune down one half step, but I'll tune to "E" for "Y"! "K"? I just thought of an other recurring- feature I can do: They Should Have Asked Me. Stay tuned...