Fact Filled Fucking Post

This morning on my way to work I spotted this dude hacking away at his hedge. On the surface, not very metal. However, this particular dude happened to be in long black pants and a black leather jacket. Yardwork in leather is very metal. *When I say metal, I'm simultaneously making devil horns with my right hand*
Remember Butter? Yeah, stop it. Now and forever they shall be known as SKIDMORE They will be LIVE! Saturday at a bar called Brightwood Tavern in the town of Bridgewood. All the people who said "say that ten times fast", should go in their bathroom and shoot themselves in the head. Repeat if necessary. Anyway, Brightwood Tavern is located at 63010 E Brightwood, Bridgewood, OR 97011 Their phone # is (503) 622-4719. Tickets can be purchased at the door, but ladies bring your knee-pads and lip-gloss just in case. SKIDMORE is a pleasant blend of styles, think Santana, Rush, and 2LO. I haven't heard their singer yet, but if he is anything like me, he kicks ass.
Friday night I will be at the Safari with my favorite strippers, Namely, one Mary St. Clare. Cold Coronas, shots of 1800, and titties. That is all I need to say about that. Word.
BooRippinRadly is off to Vegas for the weekend. Hmmm, I wonder which of us will have the better time. The smart money is on brandensbaked, cause that mutherfucker is dialed in. Word.
Well I'm off to clean up my Explorer. Explorer, Safari, hilarious. My life is a fucking riot.


The Banner Jump LIVE!
September 27 @ Rebar in Seattle.
October 8 @ Hansen's in Bremerton.
October 21 @ J.A. Michaels in Port Orchard.