CIA plot revealed in Bible Code!!!!

We have all heard of the Bible code(we= me). But who amongst us, has found it to reveal possibilities pertaining to their own fate? As far as I know, I am the first. I was crunching holy numbers(numbers=peanutbutter Cap'n Crunch), when I realized, these new figures, when applied to the book of Judges, in the Old Testament, revealed; "brandensbaked", "CIA", "dental work", and "tracking device". As this new code's revelations sank in, a chilling thought entered my mind, MY GRILL HAS BEEN HACKED!!! I immediately called the Brandensbaked Institute of Dentistry, which is conveniently located in the same building as my office. After a short phone consultation, they agreed to look at the tooth, and guaranteed my anonymity. What they found, changed my tooth forever! What I had thought was a simple "alien abduction", was actually, an elaborate ruse to find my secret hideout, courtesy of big brother. Apparently, I hadn't been abducted by aliens, as I had repeated many times before, I had actually been abducted by John Law, or one of his soulless minions... unless? My next thought horrified me, and brought a cold, stinky sweat to my armpits. As the hair on my palms raised, I wondered, what if the aliens are conspiring with the government? Both find the stoners threatening. An allegiance this powerful would be nearly unstoppable. I must escape and gather my wits. Soon after the intrusive device was removed from my molar, I made arrangements to disappear. At least until the alien pig fuzz alliance, or A.P.F.A., backs the hell off. I am currently smokin tough at an "undisclosed location", giving the press a chance to confirm my allegations. Once this shit hits the network fans, the CIA won't dare try to take me out. As for the fat fingered aliens, hopefully, my black, aluminum reinforced, Seattle Mariners hat, will foil the their evil plan. We must assume the worst. They will try culling our most guarded THsecrets from my superbrain. I need all of you to be strong, pray, and stay tuned...POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! FREE TOBY PATTERSON!!! Opressers beware...