Unique views on music, politics, life.

Brandensbaked...The Id of a dude in upper left 'Merica. Trump hater! The creative force behind "American Supercell", a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs", "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". Is proficient in all the manly arts, such as creating art, constructing useful things, mechanics, combat gardening, and respecting women. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Climate Change Fails To Deliver As Predicted

Well, the tree hugger's got caught with their pants down and pecker in hand, after pseudo scientists predicted a massive global catastrophe would be unleashed on 12-12-2012. These so called experts claimed that the gravitational pull from all of the 12's aligning along the  orbital axis of the date plane would cause a major tectonic shift throwing the world into a violent, apocalyptic ho-down, fulfilling the prophecy and setting off all of the violent events predicted by the Mayans, Christans, Jews, Muslims, Rasputin, Edgar Cayce, Nostradamus, and the psychic hot line. For some skeptics, the lack of destruction was a welcomed blow to the balls of the so-called "experts", who continually fill the news cycle with predictions of end-of-the-world scenarios, race wars, genocide, and governmental malfeasents which never materialize or even partially come true. This does not, however, slow the constant stream of predictions pushed by the snake-oil salesmen hawking their bullshit wherever suckers congregate. So yesterday at 12:13 pm, I removed my tinfoil helmet, gas mask, chem suite, Kevlar vest, and ammo-belt, unlocked the triple deadbolts, scanned my iris, uttered the pass phrase into the mic, opened the blast-doors to my nuke-proof man cave, and climbed the 112 steps to the elevator and began the 20 minute ride to the surface. After running a full environmental scan determined the earth was still habitable, I read the geopolitical situational summery that basically told me...Nothing happened. We wasted 12-12-12 hiding in the ground when we should have been doing body shots in Cabo or sipping Absolute in an Ice palace in Reykjavik! Fucking psychics! I'm beginning to think that they don't see the future at all. Maybe they are all just fucking scammers, and the people that pay $1.99 per minute to hear wondrous tales of the future are just lemmings or sheep being led around by their stupidity. In fact, I'm gonna go get my spiritual advisor shtkla-tvkta on the phone right now and have her do a reading of my chakras to determine if I am open to diving any "truths" today. We owe it to our descendants to find out if anyone will be on the planet in 500 years when the containers holding the spent fuel rods from our nuclear experiments finally fail and spill radioactive sewage all over the planets somewhat delicate water table. We may have been a bit hasty, when we were assured by the congress that global catastrophes or the rapture or the four horseman of the apocalypse would guarantee a planet devoid of all life as we know it... Oooops.