Unique views on music, politics, life.

Brandensbaked...The Id of a dude in upper left 'Merica. Trump hater! The creative force behind "American Supercell", a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs", "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". Is proficient in all the manly arts, such as creating art, constructing useful things, mechanics, combat gardening, and respecting women. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Ya Gotta Love The Packers…

Boy, can they take a poundin’! But what really sets them apart? A poundin, followed by a goldentate-shower, and….THEY SWALLOW!

In other news…The Kramer is in final approach, painted the custom pick guard, input-jack mounting plate, and various fasteners last night. I cannot wait to hook it up to the POD, Peavey tube amp, and Ampeg-Celestion speaker cab! In Weather-Summer continues to squat here. In Money-Jake lost a bunch to the criminal mastermind Jatt and Mulie, but they will pay! The economy continues to be strong, while I continue to buy low and sell high.  In Love-Me and my girl are gonna do it! Maiden is hanging in there, she doesn’t look a day over 8. In Politics-The Republicans look like a bunch of monkeys trying to fuck a football.

Are You Ready For MNF America?

Yes, it’s that time! Your palms are sweaty. Your stomach is in knots. Pressure? You better believe it. Everything you’ve trained for is contained in one spectacular night. Monday night. It’s the pinnacle of the sport…It’s MONDAY NIGHT FOOSBALL!!!  Yes, after the Seahawks destroy the Fudgepackers, tonight we begin the countdown to this season of MNF at Devonshire. Frank will be home Friday, so that will be FFF. We will party down Saturday…PDS. We will play music on Sunday…PMS….And then, the combatants will face off across the table for another punishing season of Americas game on Monday nights….MONDAY NIGHT FOOSBALL!!! Brandensbaked has got to be the favorite to take the title this year, he not only owns the house, the table and the day of the week, he also writes this blog, and is commissioner of the WWFL, the largest, best, most powerful foosball  league this side of Sedgewick. After taking a year off due to political unrest in Kidnap County and war crimes being rampant in Poor Tortured, the home city of the WWFL, commissioner baked was able to broker a deal with the rebel leader of the terrorist organization “Idaho”, and negotiate the release of Frankie Fingers, who has been held in a secret prison since late 2011. For those of you unfamiliar with Frankie's harrowing tale, read “Crumbs On Her Bumper, The Frankie Fingers Story” by brandensbaked, available from this website. Both Fingers and brandensbaked were captured while on a mission to paint a house deep into rebel held Poor Tortured. Brandensbaked was able to return home in October of 2011 when it was revealed that baked had hired a lawyer who was not on the county payroll.Fingers however, was transported via short bus to one of those prisons in a parole state, to be held until forced to explain himself in front of 3 seventy-something year old hags who never had the deep-dickin’ that normal bitches get. Fingers had only one play…Read the rest of Frankie's Finger licking, skank snacking meeting with the Idaho-PlayaHatin-BitchBrigade in “Crumbs On Her Bumper, The Frankie Fingers Story” by brandensbaked, available from this website. In the meantime…We’ll see ya Fwankie. Welcome back!…2 days and a wake-up.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

It’s Time for a Frank Talk about…

Frank! His time draws near. If it were any closer it would be behind us. Frank has got to be climbing the walls, literally and figuratively. I’m doing my part…Which, to the untrained eye, would appear to be just sitting here waiting. Actually, a lot more is going on behind the scenes. I won’t bore you with the gruesome details, but let me just say the fluffers are earning their pay. I have laid the color down on my Kramer, let that cure, and started the long process of clear coating the muther. Last night, my friend, we’ll call him “John”, gave me a beat-to-shit Yamaha acoustic that was on it’s last leg. So, I asked myself…Self, can you save this sorry piece of a rice-burner? My reply startled everyone in the room, especially me. “Load ‘er up. And make it quick before I change my mind.” So load it I did, and we brought her back to the shop. Sanded the grime off, and started replacing the lacquer that time had forgotten. Everything is humming right along. IMG_20120824_155215        IMG_20120908_002921    Looking to buy a POD XT Live which will complete my live setup. That, plus my Kramer, plus my Ibanez, plus my awesomeness, plus Frank equals… A fifty city, in fifty days stadium tour! Well  I had better get to writing some songs…Peace and Titties you Earth Dogs, Rivet Rats and Skullet wearing Metal Monsters. It’s time to dust off the old bar of soap, and take that shower you’ve been putting off…FRANKS COMING HOME!!!!! Only 19 more shopping days! In other news…Weather is awesome. M’s are getting better. Hawks snubbed MFlynn. I’m the man your mama warned you about. Got my Kramer back. Got all my shit out of pawn. Got a new room-mate, he moved out yesterday. Val has not found another place. Maiden is hanging in there. Mom’s dog had to be put down. Sorry for your loss Mom.