Unique views on music, politics, life.

Brandensbaked...The Id of a dude in upper left 'Merica. Trump hater! The creative force behind "American Supercell", a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs", "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". Is proficient in all the manly arts, such as creating art, constructing useful things, mechanics, combat gardening, and respecting women. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

News on Da Jump...



The Banner Jump released a statement through their spiritual leader at 9 AM on October 19, 2006. This pre-written statement contained the following: "The Banner Jump and bassist Heather "Leather Pants" Morritz, have filed for legal separation in Kitsap County District Court, where they currently are based in Washington state." The band cited "irreconcilable differences" and "Heather's sad and well documented addiction to supporting her family" as the main reasons for the split. The band also continues to deny the rumor of a "four-fathered-love-baby", that some bloggers have reported on the inter-web, explaining: "We all just jacked off on her feet while she smacked our bare asses with her riding crop." They added," there was hardly any penetration, and that was mostly anal." The statement continued: "The Banner Jump wishes Leather Pants continued musical success, and hopes she gets the help she so desperately needs. Some of us have had jobs at one time or another and know the dangerous allure of food and shelter. Hopefully, this will bring attention to this growing problem in our society." After several paragraphs outlining the bands unwavering opposition to working for "the man", they commented on their future, stating: "Heather will be mentioned in requests to our pagan Gods, and we will continue to use her pictures in our masturbation rituals." The statement concluded: "We are also pleased to announce the we auditioned "Jack vs. The Ice Cream Man" bass player Dan Cox last night at RanFo's, and if he can come up with some pills and cash, looks to have the inside track on the position." At the time of this printing, Morritz could not be reached for comment, and repeated requests for an interview have gone unanswered. Additionally, it is unclear if alleged bassist Cox was aligned with Jack, or if he was allied with the heavily favored Ice Cream Man. Nor is it known how these shocking developments will affect the conflict.