Unique views on music, politics, life.

Brandensbaked...The Id of a dude in upper left 'Merica. Trump hater! The creative force behind "American Supercell", a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs", "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". Is proficient in all the manly arts, such as creating art, constructing useful things, mechanics, combat gardening, and respecting women. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Ohhhhh, me achin head...

Tough weekend- the virus thats been incubating in me bod must have reached full strength. Can't get up... must try to blog(crawls weakly to computer). Feels like birdflu. This may be goodbye. Must confess... I am your father...Sorry for everything... (coughs fitfully). The light is so bright. It's calling me home. I hear harp music...(loses consciousness).

Saturday, February 26, 2005


Ricksbaked fryin balls 1987 Posted by Hello

S-A-TUR-DAY-HEY

The second best day-o-the week! Ricksbaked is on his way, gonna lay down some funky bass lines. Went to Sequim today, it was beautiful. Saw Brettsnotbaked and his fam. Habby 4th A! Spent all night last night, rappin with the sweetest girl. Lord, she's lovey-dovey. Hmmm, almost too sweet. Wouldn't that be ironic if she was playin me? Nahhhhh, nobody plays the master! Unless, she is baiting me. I thought I told you, I'm the master-baiter. What? I can hear someone snickering in the back. Say it to my blog, punk... Uhhuh...that's what I thought. Any who, Ricksbaked is here, time to fuck it up- yella.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Trapped in a glass box:


BooRippinRadley and Cruiser frying balls. I ran across this while looking for pics of Sid. I believe it's Halloween of 1990. Kind of an Evil Mime vibe, don't you think? Don't know what ever became of Cruiser. He was mentally challenged before he started partying with us. Ahhhh, remember when we could score acid. Those were the days. Posted by Hello

It's been three years since Sid passed on. Hard to believe. Miss ya dawg! Hope you have a sunbeam to lay in, wherever you are. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Wonderful dream!

JimiSings stopped by tonight. We played air guitar/drums to Rush's 2112. All 20+ minutes of it. Don't annoy us further, oh we have our work to do. Think about the average what use have they for you. Another toy, that helped destroy, the elder race of man. Forget about your silly whim, it doesn't fit the plan... After he left, I fell asleep in front of the boobtube, with CNN on, bathing my subconscious with the half-hour news cycle. I dreamt I was very important. I was protected by the Secret Service, and traveled in a hidden compartment, so my whereabouts remained top secret. I was granted many private meetings with the President. He would rip a crystally nug from my stem, and pack it in the executive, two foot tall, blown glass water bong. I was glad to donate to such a righteous Christian soldier. I felt no pain, as he applied the flame from a solid gold zippo. He coughed up some brown stuff into the cup that held his mountainberry kool-ade. After applying visine to his eyes, a quick rinse with the mouthwash, and a spritz of polo to the clothes, he would lovingly replace me to my secret hiding place. Not for long though, for we met frequently. I provided some sanity in this crazy world. When I awoke, it was just me and Maiden. It had all been a wonderful dream. I was the most important bag of weed in the free world. Maiden eyed me lazily, as if to say "your not a sack of weed, you idiot, your just a man". She's right of course, I am just a man. But maybe some day...I'll be a sack of weed. Probably not. Whatever.

Bush's smokescreen foiled by Wead

Oh, that liberal biased press. They are freaking out, about Bush toking out. It turns out, Bush confidant Dick Wead, was recording their phone conversations in 1998. The super secret strategy sessions, mostly pertained to the upcoming presidential election. Issues like prior pot use, or hick/evangelical secret code words. Brandensbaked has acquired a partial copy of the alleged transcripts, which were delivered anonymously to Brandensbaked World News Headquarters, sometime Wednesday morning, before we got up. Here is a sample of their alleged conversation: "I don't like a lot of seeds in my dope" Bush complained. "Them pussy liberal, tree-hugging assholes in the NorthWest are hogging all the chronic" Wead replied. Bush, after blowing out a pipe hit, exclaimed "When I'm elected president, I'm gonna get a fat sack of stinky green bud, and smoke out in the shitter, on AirForce One. Then I'm gonna eat me a Texas sized bowl of Fruity Pebbles, and watch the Beavis and Butthead DVD, Jeb got me fer Christmas". Wead: "You fucker, hook me up"! Bush: "Okay but keep it on the downlow, if Laura thinks I'm stoned, she won't let me touch her". Wead: "Gimme your pager number". Bush: "Don't page me twenty times a day, fucker. I'll call you when I hook it up". Wead: "Dude, don't sweat it".
Now, I'm not sure if this conversation actually took place. No one is. Until the actual tapes are released, we can only speculate on the transcripts accuracy. I can, however, confirm, that we in the NW are indeed liberal, at least those of us with an I.Q. above 80(mine is 144, ha!). I also must admit, that a tree feels pretty good to hug, although that's between me and the tree and the midget and the stripper. Finally, since the word is out, I will admit, that we are indeed, hoarding the lions share, of the country's green bud supply. As to the rest of the conversation, I'm just reporting it the way I heard it. Should the transcripts be proven accurate, it only confirms what most of us suspected, it's tough to speak in public when your fucking baked. Have you ever ruled the world... on weed? It's a trip.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The Real Story

The truth, is really nothing more, than the most popular version of a situation or event.
This is how it went down. I have been a huge Monster Magnet fan since BooRippenRadly and T-man, were living in Idaho, no you da ho, ho. Anyway, that was like, the summer Kiss did their reunion tour, '96 I think. The first time I heard "Black Balloon" off of Superjudge, they've been as close to an idol as I've had, since I realized how fucking gay it is to wear spandex and hairspray. In fact, spandex is gay all by it self(while hairspray is only effeminate). I went to see them a couple of years ago, when Powertrip came out, but due to forces beyond my control(my insatiable thirst), I only got to see their last two songs. I don't know if they toured for God says No, but I didn't hear anything. So when I found out they were coming this summer, I got tix for Seattle and P-town. Needless to say, my celebration began three days prior to their arrival in P-town, the first show. The day of that first show was a remarkable display of chemical, biological, and astrological forces, combining to create a situation where I, brandensbaked, was more like Monster Magnet, than Monster Magnet. As you can imagine, I immediately began grooving with this chick. I believe I opened with, "Are you wearing lingerie for a shirt? Cause I love me some strippers!" As the music grooved, I grooved. Totally blew her mind. I told X and 2Lo(who were with me), I found true love. Why didn't those mutherfuckers tackle my drunk, beer goggle wearin ass, and shuttle me to safety. I ended up dry-humpin this bitch till there was smoke rollin off my 501's. Even after daylight, my blood was still mostly chemicals suspended in alcohol. In this condition my judgement can't be trusted. Duh. Somehow I made it back to my truck in time to drive home, catch a couple hours of sleep, and hit the Seattle show. BooRadly drove, and we met up with Jimisings. Great finish to a five day liver triathalon. What a fucking week that was. Somehow, in all the excitement, I had agreed to attend Farm Aid with this very special lady, about three weeks later in my neck of the woods. As the day approached, I struggled to form a clear picture of her in my mind. Drawing from my battered memory, I recalled hopefully, that she was pretty hot. As I went out to my driveway to reunite with my mystery girl, my senses were assaulted with an image that left me limp and tentative. What we have here, is a classic two-facer. Fuck. She, on the other hand, was all over me (I'm good lookin for real). The weather was crap, but the concert was interesting. You thought I was gonna run, didn't you. Nope, I manned up and did what I said I'd do. She had reserved us a room at a local motel, which means we're goin all the way. I should add here, she paid for everything, even drinks, though I offered many times. After a day spent watching the show, and chuggin five dollar beers, we retired to our accommodations. I will spare you the gruesome details, but we had intimate relations, lets just leave it at that. Lets not. Why did I do it? So I could cum. Duh. I couldn't jerk-off with her in the room. That would be even creepier. After a lackluster performance that left one of us unsatisfied, and the other one queasy, I knew in my guilty, panic-ridden mind, I would never see her again. Luckily, she had to return to Beaverton (I know, it's hell funny, beaverton!) early Sunday for a wedding. I broke off all contact. For a month I didn't answer her many, many, calls or emails. Finally, she quit calling. I know, I'm a jerk. I relaxed and went back to my sublime existence of self-gratification. Then one evening, a Wednesday I believe, I'm mindin my own business, when out on the porch there arose such a clatter, Maiden sprang to the door to see what was the matter. That fucking bitch! She drove three hours to pop in on my baked ass. Oh, I was thoroughly irritated. I told her I had reunited with my ex, and she needed to hit the road without delay, lest my sweety discover us. "Can I at least use the bathroom?" She inquired. "Yeah, I suppose. Make it quick" I stated coldly. She pissed, then she left pissed. Seven minutes from hello to goodbye. Haven't heard from her since. That's my story and I'm stickin to it.

Monday, February 21, 2005


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Posted by Hello

Do what I say, not what I do

Well, it seems Bush admitted on tape, he was sparkin up da reefer mon. While this is the first thing he's done that I approve of, his hypocrisy keeps my hope in check. He claims he didn't want kids tokin out cause, "that's what the president did". Of course, if kids want to illegally invade a country, and kill hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians(collateral damage), or dismantle the endangered species laws, well, Bush is okay with inspiring that. I'll bet Paris Hilton could whip Bush's hick ass at a game of Scrabble. I'm sorry, I don't mean any disrespect to Miss Hilton, whom I love. Man, I am bloggin like a mutherfucker today. It's like crack, only I ain't gotta drive to K Street to get my fix, plus it's free. Word.

Go forth and multiply

The poppy seeds you find at the supermarket, if planted, produce opium poppy plants. This would be the time to do it, were one so inclined. Be sure you don't sprinkle them all over the place, cause they'll grow almost anywhere. On the other hand, home grown opium helps fight terrorism. The Afghans don't want you to know this. They need your drug money to buy beat to shit old ass Toyota trucks, and AK-47s. This(plant the seeds all over town)would also work for my sorry ass brick-weed smoking, seed toting, can't get the sensimilla, readers. While I in no way condone this guerilla farming, I know I cannot stop you. Damn you crafty Americans, damn you to hell.

Happy Presidents Day!

This holiday is often relegated to the back seat in the world of celebration. This should not be the case. George Washington, our first president, was offered the position of king. He declined. A selfless act that cemented the template of our great republic. Imagine Bush in the same situation. We didn't even offer to make him a monarch, but he is fucking pushing it anyway. I gotta admit, though, King Brandensbaked the Pie Eyed, has a nice ring to it. "Hear ye, hear ye, all maidens of breeding age, shall report to his majesties court for some slap and tickle". Anywho, I digress.
Abe Lincoln, the other mutherfucker we are honoring on this day, also had a hand in shaping the country. He outlawed slavery(the bad kind), and set forth a policy of reconciliation after the Civil War. It cost him his life. He was also the first president to be assassinated. But his forward looking policies kept the country together. So we got to keep Mississippi. And a bunch of other shit-hole states. Hmmm. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Too late now. So in conclusion, the world we live in today, was heavily influenced by these two ugly mutherfuckers. Thanks guys, RIP.

I like mine with maple syrup!

In Leviticus 11.4-8. the Bible says swines are unclean and not to be eaten. In Genesis 2.15. God says the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil(apple), may not be eaten. So when people roast a pig, with an apple in it's mouth, thats gotta be a big "fuck you" to the man upstairs, eh? Now if everyone would bow their heads, I'll lead us in prayer. "Lord, I know your busy with poverty and disease, genocide and enviromental disaster, but if you could put that on hold for a moment, we would ask you to forgive your sneaky fingered clergy, and bless our gluttonous republic. Oh and thanks for the sonics. Amen".

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Yes, I'm still here

The truth is, I blog when I wanna. So lets blog mutherfuckers. Me and Hawkeye went down to P-town and spread some dollas with 2Lo aways back. Met a girl... Why are you fuckin laughing?
That wasn't my fault. X was sober, he should have told me she was a classic two-facer. Although, I did let him hit on Jody when he was all fucked up at J.A.'s He's lucky she shined him on. Can I get back to my story? Anyway, met this fine-ass girl, and she's been calling me often. She always seems like she is hella fucked up. That's cool with me though, long as I gets mine. It is a blessing/curse that she lives so far away. I just need to get my ass to P-town more often. Word! I took an I.Q. test at tickle.com and I got 144! Wish they gave you money for that. Still, that shows that those stoner stereotypes they have in the media are based in bullshit. I've smoked enough sticky green bud to wipe glaucoma off the planet, but not half as much as Ricksbaked. That fucker is like a machine! Speaking of, I just saw that mutherfucker at the pass. He's good people. Always makes me laugh. Well gotta jam, power to the people. FREE TOBY PATTERSON!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

New song at soundclick.com-"Filter"

Supercell just uploaded their hit single "Filter". 2Lo came up with this bass line and the song practicly wrote itself. This song is tearing up the charts in Laos and Cambodia. It's free to download. That is an $80.00 value. But wait... if you click the link in the next ten minutes, you get a second song, free. I know, I know, we are sucking fycho. But we have to make room for the 2005 songs, and my manager says I can make you the deal of a lifetime. This is a $160.00 value - free! Hurry, deals like this can't last. Follow the link below. It's like a virtual bong hit, free! But wait, if you call in the next five minutes, we will play the songs tuned down one -half step. Click, how can you not?->

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Supercell saves kids!

End times are near brother, end times are near. Where will you be when the shit goes down? Supercell has a plan- to keep you and your family safe. Follow the link below. Click now if you believe in safety for our children. Imagine kids that are up to 36.4% safer! Click, quickly now, there's no time to lose.
SoundClick Now!