Unique views on music, politics, life.

Brandensbaked...The Id of a dude in upper left 'Merica. Trump hater! The creative force behind "American Supercell", a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs", "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". Is proficient in all the manly arts, such as creating art, constructing useful things, mechanics, combat gardening, and respecting women. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Whaling Days

Wasn't much to look at. BooRad and I cold missed the boat. Worth a try I reckon. Bitches, where the hell are you? Call me.
B.

When I step out of line...

It's cause my balls set the pace. I had my chance but could not pull the trigger without the beer goggles. Perhaps another time. How about this weather? Have you seen our mountains? Went to Port Townsend yesterday. Fine assed day. Betties, however, were M.I.A. Maybe I can get BooRad to go to Whaling Days. That is a can't miss, titty-fest, or breastival, especially in this heat.
Maybe I'll see you there.
B.

Friday, July 29, 2005

What a fine, fine Friday.


Frige (Anglo-Saxon, Friia (Germany) or Frea (Langobard)) was the love goddess of Germanic mythology, and the wife of Wotan (Odin). She has given her name to the weekday Friday in analogy with Venus. In the last surviving and by far best known version of Germanic mythology, Norse mythology, she had split into two clearly related goddesses, the promiscuous Freya who was married to Odr and the sometimes unfaithful Frigg who was the wife of Odin. Now that you know, you can tell 'em that.
Practice went well last night, shit is coming together nicely. We took the songs off of some sweet jumps. Eight days left. I'll see ya at Scarlets after the show.
Seven days until our field trip.
Nine days till The Devils Rejects.
I am growing sideburns. First time ever. Don't try to stop me, I've made up my mind. Bringing back the soul patch too, a.k.a. the taint tickler.
JimiSings- Is that vinyl siding? Sweet. Out of eight million sperm, I can't believe you won. I'm watchin you mutherfucker. I'm watchin you.
No word from the T man, hope all is well. Visualize freedom.
I don't have a girlfriend, but apparently I fucked her sister at Morrison Gravel pit in 1987. That's two out of three. If I could get the last one, boy that would be something. A trip trip triple shot of poooootang.
Shout out to my peeps in P town, I miss our little safari trips (wipes away solitary tear).
Crushed Hawkeye in Madden, I put 84 points on him. Ouch.
That's all for now mutherfuckers, remember, cash money plays. Peace and titties.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Last Night an Angel...

An Angel came to me last night. At first I was scared. The angel said, "suck it up pussy, I'm not here to harm you."
"Why then?" I whispered.
"To remind you of God's plan for your life" the being replied.
"Don't tell me God's plan, for I am a prophet. And why aren't you wearing pants?" I asked.
"They make me look fat, now listen" the angel implored.
"You are to take the flock and shepherd them to the truth" floating above me, the angel continued. "You are to disseminate knowledge of carnal pleasures to the people and give out nuggets of useful and useless information, and most importantly, you must smoke as much of the chronic as you can, lest the non-believers use it to dazzle the souls that stray".
"Duh!" I spat. "I already do that. Read the fucking blog you stupid angel."
With that, it disappeared.
Other stuff: With the bright sunlight this time of year, it is important to remember to pluck the long hairs wherever they grow wild, or your silhouette is sure to reveal your primal monkey ears.
Nose hair is another summertime no no. Keep it short, for it is like neck hair, but in the front.
Ten days to CI, eleven to the show.
Peace and titties, cash money plays.

Seattle Hempfest

August 20(sat) and 21(sun) at Myrtle Edwards Park, Pier 70
Lot of stinky hippies, but lots of....Yes, you know.... Cummon say it with me.... TITTIES

Monday, July 25, 2005

Weekly recap

Sunday night BooRadly and his DJ invited me over for steaks and legs. Mmmmm. Both were delicious. Mitsy was it? Yes. That miniskirt and tummy gave brandensbaked wood. Hope I get ta use it on her. Word.
P.S. Check out the comments on the last post...

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Stick this in your pipe and smoke it.

LASER Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Yes kids, laser is an acronym, and now you can tell 'em that. Find other acronyms here.
Last evening Mike and I stabbed some poppies and made dubes, made poppy tea, and ate poptarts, while a guy in parachute pants did some popping. The skychurch(think about it) was perfect for the event. It inspires me to work in my yard. Word.
I am thinking about starting a cult, any ideas are appreciated.
I have two openings in my posse, one midget(male) and one albino(male or female).
Twelve days until our field trip.
Thirteen days until the show at Hansen's.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Viciouspuddin!

MMMMMMMMMM. I love this girl. She is everything I've ever wanted right now. If she is viciouspuddin then I'm viciousbillcosby.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Fifteen shopping days.

Happy Friday mutherfuckers. Here is a good name for a band: Twisted Fister. I'm not gonna use it, so finders-keepers.
Rove got busted for talkin shit. If that fat-faced piece-of-shit talked shit about my wife, I'd beat his disrespectful ass. I'd shove his balls up his ass, so when he shits, he shits on his balls. Watch your fuckin mouth Karl.
Two weeks till our field trip. Get yer permission slips signed and turned in. Wrap a Coke in aluminum foil and freeze that mutherfucker. I know what yer thinkin, but I've seen people do it. Any one have the wall disk 2? IIIIIII caaaaaaaan't heeeeeeeeere yoooooouuuuuuu. Can a mutherfucker get a hallelujah?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hey 2Lo!

Drop us a smoke signal or whatever. What ever happened to a good old fashioned hand written letter? What happened to us?
Friends forever,
Brandensbaked

Monday, July 18, 2005

What a gas.

What a gang bang of a weekend. M's, titties, cowgirls, titties, Marshal Mathers, titties, and sunshine to boot! Went to White River to see the Anger Management Tour, no one was even mildly peeved. No gangsters. No haters. Just scantily clad sluts(the good kind) shakin da booties. 20 cent sucked then swallowed(bring it fucker). Eminem was entertaining the ladies, who were entertaining me. I'm a little stiff from all the rubbernecking. I'm a little hard from all the bitches. Took the crazy daisy, and got to shine on the bitch formerly known as eVal. I love my bakedlife. Oh yeah, went to Hawkeye's to ogle another betty sun. morn. Ha! Finally, manhandled some rat- faced, toothless, tweekers to complete this well rounded weekend. Peace and titties....

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Congrats to...

O.k. That went very well. Very, swellingly bonerific. Bitches galore. Eye high in hos. The game...Spectacular. Oh and it was ladies night at Safeco field. Cowgirls inc.....Yes, specfuckingtacular. Rafael gets it done, joining Hank, Willie, and Eddie in the 500 home run/3000 hit club. Join me on Aug 5 in the Cowgirls inc club. Fine assed bitch smacks your face a few times, shakes her titties, yes titties, in your face and throws a shot down your pie hole. Brilliant. Six bucks. I thought of it first, but forgot my plans when I was hypnotized by the smoke traced sounds of water bubbling and the pendulum dance of my perpetual motion machine. Good times, good times. Aug six six sixth at Hansen's. Aug fifth at Cowgirls Inc. The very first brandensbaked weekend of excess, success, and debautchery. Good friends, good times and titties. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Friday...My favorite day-O-the week.

Well well well. Shouldn't you be doing something constructive? Yeah I am, not that it's any of your biness. Me, I'm gettin prepped for the M's game tonight. Palmero is one hit away from three thousand. I am one hit away from one million, but thats how we roll in Clover Valley. Hit after hit after drink after hit. Look for us at the game, I'll be the guy behind the horizontal Corona. Maybe BooRad and I will drop in to the Vu for some soft drinks. Fox's might be a better bet. I'll report, you decide. Twenty one shopping days until the show. Remember... Never, uh no, always carry a trash bag in your car. If it gets full you can just toss it out the window. Cash money plays. 2Hi out...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

W W W Wow, What a gr gr gr great cr cr crowd.

Yes, another weekend approaches. Driving home from band practice, the pleasant evening surrounds me, and I am reminded of fun-filled summers past. A simpler time, when BooRad and I would hit the ballpark, the beerpark and the tittypark, and sometimes the crackpark. The M's would be comfortably in the lead, dominating the A.L. West, and heading for a showdown with the hated Yankees. We would sip, no, drink, no, consume dark, dark beer with colorful names. Scanning the standing-room-only crowd for betties, I would slur my favorite pick up lines to the girls that pleased my good eye. "Fucking niiiiiice fucking tits!" "Didn't you go to Roosevelt?" "Hey were you in my poly-sci class last semester?" "You look like you have really soft skin." Ahhh, but I digress.
I am now firmly entrenched as 2nd chair guitar in the band formerly known as Y. Oooooh and I am goooooood. Why not treat yourself and come out to Hansen's in Bremerton(1220 Sylvan Way, Bremerton, WA 98310) on Aug. 6, and watch us fuck it up, say about 8ish? Great. After the show, come up and introduce yourself. If you have nice tits, maybe I'll let you carry some equipment out to the Bronco. If you're female, maybe you can help me unload at Chez Brandensbaked.
X, you better practice up son, God help you, I'm gonna abuse you on the Madden. Maybe you should bring your PS2, just so there are no Xcuses. You dig? Bring your acoustic guitar.
Hawkeye, make sure any taxes that need to be filed are squared away. You dig? Bring the Groper.
2Lo, you bring your golden straw, the one with the wheel at the bottom. You dig? Good. Party party party. Bring your acoustic bass.
Ricksbaked, ditto. I know you dig. Oh, your bro is playing too, so tell five or ten of your siblings to come and show their support. You are covered.
JimiSings, cancel your trip to Seattle. Dig? Good. Tell all the usual suspects. Hansen's, 8ish.
Follow the link at the bottom of this post for a map and driving directions. CDs available next week, or you can get one at the show.
Other business:
Have you mutherfuckers been catching The Daily Show ? Watch the show. Watch it! It will make you laugh, and informed. Another entertaining source for current events is Countdown on MSNBC.
I'll see you at Scarlet's after the show. Peace and titties...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Thanx X you are Xcellent xcept when you double x

So I went and fixed all the links. You would think I would check them when I do 'em up, but as I stated earlier, I do the thinking around here. Follow the links. It feels good to do what you're told.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Maddening isn't it?

This weekend I put up over 100 points on DougJones. I spanked Hawkeye repeatedly. I am unstoppable. Bow down. I'm runnin, I'm passin, I'm passin, I'm runnin.

Hey Boone...

Don't let the door hit ya on the way out. Maybe you should get back on the juice.
I would.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Beware the evil eye.

Between the velvet lies, there's a truth as hard as steel.
Watch your back Mac...
Fuck n a. Nice finish M's. Only nine games under .500.

Friday, July 01, 2005

For Those about to Rock...

What the fuck? I can't believe it's not butter! Chicken shit. Opportunities like that are less and less frequent the older ya get X. There is still time to man up. So... Man the fuck up! Man up or change the name to Sputter.

I find great irony in the fact that Independence Day is celebrated by so many couples.