The random musings of an underexposed artistic genius

Brandensbaked...The Id of a dude in upper left 'Merica. The creative force behind "SuperCell", a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs", "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". Is proficient in all the manly arts, such as construction, mechanics, combat gardening, and respecting women. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Ahhhh. Memories. My Kramer....REWARD!!!!

The Guitar Paul Billings III stole. He is currently in Kitsap County Drug Court
The Serial Number
Paul hasn't paid for this crime...Yet!
Photo: Photo: Photo:

Which was stolen from my house in Port Orchard, Washington on or around July 18, 2013. A little dirtbag named Paul Billings took it while I was in jail. He pawned it somewhere, possibly at Trader McGee's in Bremerton, Washington. The guitar is obviously a custom job, done by myself, but the value lies in the history. I obtained this Kramer in 1995 from a good friend who had it since the original owner lost his life. The guitar was purple and pink, but under all of that eye shadow, this thing had balls. I stripped it down and had it painted black with gold flake at Al's Used Cars and Trucks. He also clear coated it with an automotive finish. It remained that way until 2008 or '09. I then started screwing around with colors and artsy finishes trying to find this thing's hidden identity. One day, I threw it on the table saw while listening to "What's next to the moon?" by AC/DC. A couple of cuts here, a little off of the top there, and voilà!!!!

This is from 1996, Right after I painted it black.
Pre-paint circa 2006
I had found the magic spell to release the inner bad-ass that this Kramer always possessed but was suppressed. Impressed, I had to rest. I'd done my best, and passed the test. And the rest? Find a color that stressed it's blessed, this guitar, from way out west, caused shy, responsible twenty-somethings to crowd up to the stage and forcefully share their ample breasts. I was impressed. No no no, don't get dressed. Let's all regress to mindless sex, and give these breasts the best 'fest I'd guessed. 
SuperCell show at the Ray Waterman RV and Rodeo show 2001
This is from 2007.


Ah, but I digress. When the guitar had found it's true shape, I then painted it using closely guarded technics I had developed over the years.(Unfortunately, the guitar itself was not as closely guarded). I quickly did a pro-setup and added it to my arsenal of six-string murder weapons. Soon after that, on July 15, 2013, I got busted for passing off fake Facebook/Copywrite posts when I made a fool out of the wrong Sheriff's social media liason. While my lawyers were sorting through the legal minefield, Paul broke into my home and took everything he could carry in his tiny, child-like arms and sped away to buy his heroin. Many things were stolen. My MXL microphones. (4). My M-Audio Black Box. My Alesis Multimix 8 mixer. My Ibanez bass. My Yamaha acoustic. etc. The thing I want back the most, the thing that's easy to identify, is that Kramer. The serial number is on the screw-plate easily seen in the photo. Okay. I'm outta time. Bottom line. I want this guitar. I will pay the person who has it, for it. I will give a reward to the person who finds it and informs me where it is. Let's start the bidding at $250.00 reward, and $350.00 for the guitar. We'll negotiate from there. Aight? 

Friday, September 02, 2016

Interwebs, come September....

Shout out to Frizzo, for taking care of bizzo. Now, I can air my dirty laundry on the interwizzo. Fo shizzle. ENOUGH! If your cracker-ass mind was unable to decipher my street-jive, I was merely rejoicing at the fact that the Clover Valley house has high speed internet service, and a decent cable package. If that wasn't enough good news, my girl called me up and said, "come and get me". So I did. And the girl got, got. So I'm going to run up to Wallyworld and grab some milk for my ice cream tonight, and my Fruit Loops with Mutherfucking Marshmallows, tomorrow morning, bitch.

The summer has left with a pussy-like whimper. That's okay. Fall is an especially kick ass time of year here in the PNW. The trout bite again. The forest beckons. The Seahawks, oh, the mighty Seahawks! The M's just miss the playoffs for the 67th year in a row. The Huskies begin their quest towards relevancy. That smell...Arrives with the school bells and lingers until after Thanksgiving. We have really gotten a lot of projects done over this summer. Now, with time running out, we must pull together as a team and button up all of the loose ends. Not a lot, but, important just the same. A little pixie dust, makes opiated into...OPIATED!!!! Now that we are back on the grid, I will be able to dole out every delicious detail. It will be as if you were riding on my shoulder like Toucan Sam.........................Good day peeps, good damn day.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Well into August and still no Interweb....

At the Clover Valley World Headquarters. I'll tell you, despite the obvious financial snafus, I am definitely on the mend. I've been spending time with my favorite girl! Now, I'm not gonna try and say I understand the workings of this most mysterious female's most mysterious mind, but it would appear, to my limited observational skills, that she is into me again. Maybe she is, maybe I'm delusional, either way, I'm gonna go with the flow and enjoy the moment and let the deets fall where they may. I spent the whole day today, and several hours last night working on a song. It's a story about a drug-obsessed entrepreneur, who just wants to marry great service and low prices with the black market drug trade. Now, I've been known to sling a bit, back in 2013, but any reference to illegal activities is either fiction or history. With that disclaimer, I give you this:

Be kind when critiquing my work. I donate all the moneys to BALPAC. For this and other Indi-gems, check out my soundclown page HERE
Also:Upper 90's try to save this shitty ass summer. M's are making a show of trying to get into the playoffs...We'll see if they have the juice. Hawks are looking like the shit yet again. We will be deep into the playoffs if not the big one. Dawgs are ranked 7th by SI!!! Have two of seven panels done on the new fence. The shop is 90% done. Almost done with the headliner on my truck. The bed of the truck is done, painted on liner and truck box. HotTub is on the ground, 30 feet from it's final destination. The studio is stone cold pimpin'. Too many improvements to mention in a news feed, stay tuned for an in depth report. For more Branden than you can shake your tits at, follow my Instagram @brandenhuff. That's all the news that's fit to spit...Peace and #DumpTrump