The random musings of an underexposed artistic genius

brandensbaked was born in the year of revolution, during an undisclosed "free love" decade. His views were formed at the alter of "hair metal" and by parents that were too lazy to force religious beliefs on his impressionable mind...It's sad really. He had to form his own views. Brandensbaked is the creative force behind "SuperCell" a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs" , "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". He is proficient in all the manly arts, like construction, mechanics, and combat gardening. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Sunday, January 04, 2015


Yes, you heard right.  It's been ten long years since I first blogged all over the interwebs face and tits.  Have I changed?  Big time.  Is my writing any better?  Probably not.  Have I made any money?  Not a dime yo.  That just means I haven't sold out.  This blog is pure.  Ten years ago I was hung up on Valerie.  Boy has that changed....  I was just beginning my serious drug addiction.  Licked that.  I have definitely made a lot of mistakes, but in the end, I'm a better man than I was.... Or maybe I'm just delusional.  I guess all that matters is 109 days from now, I will have accomplished the impossible.

Friday, January 02, 2015

So Far....So Good

So what?  Another short week wraps up today.  Had Mexican food with Henzo last night.  Good to see my bra.  Back to the grind today....Pay day yo.  The weather?  Awesome.  Cold and foggy mountain.  Oregon stomped Florida State.  I hate the Florida schools so good for me.  Ohio State stomped Alabama.  I hate the SEC so good for me.  Dawgs play Oklahoma State tonight....I fucking despise the state of Okies so death to those mutherfuckers. GIVE ME MY FUCKING SUPERSONICS BACK!!!!!

Thursday, January 01, 2015

You're Gonna Have A New Year

Weather you like it or not. Mine is going to be spectacular.  I took my friend Tiffany out last night....Wait for it....Yes, I said my friend.  No sexist descriptions of her lady-parts.  Although, she is beautiful. The only thing I penetrated was my need for a deeper connection than the superficial.  We went for sushi, to a lame AA dance, and then down to the water to watch the Space Needle go off.  I didn't want to sit here and trip out on the bitch who's name we shall no longer write in this sacred space.  Considering I spent last New Year in the cross bars motel, this was a big step up.  So, to review, in 2014 I got my teeth fixed, got my hernias repaired, got my real estate license, I moved back into World Headquarters at Clover Valley.  I sold my dads house.  That's a pretty damn big list of accomplishments.  What's in store for 2015?  My number one goal is to graduate from drug court.  I'm on track to pull this off on April 25.  My number two goal....Get yoked.  Super yoked.  My third goal, is to purchase the equipment to complete my music scene.  Cymbals, cymbal stands, Pod for guitar fx, and a P.A.  Being happy goes without saying.  I have some other mountains to climb, but they don't require the constant focus of the big three.  The weather today?  Awesome.  Cold.  Clear.  Just like my mind.  The world?  Uber fucked.  Sports?  Everything is breaking my way.  112 days of bondage....Peace.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Mmmmmm. Tasty Weekend Yo.

Arizona has had a great year.  That being said, move the fuck over so my Seahawks can get some of that spotlight.  I am salivating waiting for this Sunday.  Gonna take over first place.  I love the thought of the other NFC contenders looking over their back only to see the Hawks charging.  We are on a collision course with the New England Patriots.  You mad bro?  Christmas party tonight...Taking Tiff....Healing up nicely.  125 days of bondage.  Peace.

Saturday, December 13, 2014


We haven't had a numerologist's boner like this since the apocalyptic swing and miss of 12/12/12.  Let's see.  What's new?  Well, I had a couple of hernias surgically repaired on Thursday.  So after I'm all healed up, my body will once again be flawless.  The Huskies are playing in the Cactus Bowl on the 2nd of January.  The Huskies basketball team is undefeated after destroying #13 SDSU.  The Seahawks are peaking at just the right time and after destroying SF, AZ, and Philly, we get SF at our place tomorrow.  The Mariners landed Nelson Cruz, and are trying to sign Melky Cabrera.  Fucking A it's a good time to be a sports fan in the great NW.  GIVE US OUR SONICS BACK YOU NAZI BASTARDS!!!!  In pussy news....My girls birthday yesterday.  Happy BDay Valerie.  Are we back together?  No.  Not yet.  Someday perhaps.  Am I giving her money?  Uh...Yeah.  Is she fucking me?  More ways than one grasshopper, more ways than one.  But, by not locking me down, this allows the dirty dog to roam....In other news, cops kill unarmed citizens with impunity.  Bill Cosby is a sick motherfucker...Corporate welfare continues to destroy democracy.  Global climate change rages unchecked...It was 68* here 3 days ago. 131 days of bondage, followed by sweet, sweet freedom. Peace and titties.