The random musings of an underexposed artistic genius

brandensbaked was born in the year of revolution, during an undisclosed "free love" decade. His views were formed at the alter of "hair metal" and by parents that were too lazy to force religious beliefs on his impressionable mind...It's sad really. He had to form his own views. Brandensbaked is the creative force behind "SuperCell" a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs" , "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". He is proficient in all the manly arts, like construction, mechanics, and combat gardening. Possibly an immortal...Time will tell.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Killer fall day in the Clover Valley



Sunny and 28* as the polar vortex kills off the weak and dazzles the survivors.  I would not want to be living in a tent or cardboard box this week.  Peace...

Monday, November 10, 2014

All Up In My Grill

Sooooo, I had to take a break from the vagicide I've been committing on CrazyChick01.  My advanced relationship sensors alerted me to the fact that by utterly destroying this pussy, I may be unintentionally creating "feelings" in the rubble.  These feelings, while useful as motivation to follow my every perverted, deviant sexual fantasy, could come back to haunt me.  A woman scorned is a DANGEROUS adversary.  I'm fearless, not stupid.  Okay, I am stupid, but I'm not crazy...Okay, maybe a little crazy, but I'm definitely not suicidal. Yeah.  Not suicidal.  A glutton for punishment, but I want to live damn it!!!  I cannot believe how many good years I wasted on that fucking cunt, Valerie.  Remember how much fun we used to have dippin the wick all over this great country?  Good times...Koch Un Bolls 2015...The shoot out resumes....

Sunday, November 09, 2014

How To Pick Up Women....

My favorite way?  Pull the truck over and ask 'em if they need a ride.
 Works best when it's cold out and they are carrying a garbage bag full of clothes.  Sooooo, any who, that's what I did Saturday.  Dropped off crazy chick #1, went to an AA meeting full of dudes, then I picked up crazy chick #2.  Today my life is 2/3rd full of crazy chicks.  That ends up being more than the USDA recommended daily allowance.  I can handle it yo.  In other news....Dawgs got beat....Hawks pull it out in the 4th quarter....Polar vortex bearing down on the Clover Valley....Won my 3rd game in Fantasy Football.....New Pink Floyd dropped....165 Days left of bondage....Brandensbaked has left the building.

Sunday, November 02, 2014

Day of the Dead.....Dance of the Dead

Today is the Mexican holiday Day of the Dead.  I love everything Mexican.  Except for their schwag brick weed.  If they could get their bullshit weed situation worked out, that would be a country on the rise.  Psssst. Mexico. Call me.  I got skills that pay the bills.  Any who, the Huskies are bowl eligible.  After beating Colorado in The Bud Bowl, college edition, we are 6-3.  Right about where everyone figured we'd be.  So far, pretty disappointing for yours truly.  I thought for sure Chris Peterson would be able to get a win against at least one of the big three, AZ state, Oregon, or Stanford.  I guess a win at UCLA would go a long way...Mariners lost Justin Smoak to Toronto last week.  I always liked the man.  Sorry things didn't work out.  Good luck Smoaky.  The Seattle Seahawks take on the lowly Raiders today in Seattle...What can I say about this?  C'mon Hawks!  Time to pad the stats and get some third stringers off the bench.  In weather, cloudy and 46* here, snowing in Foxborough for the Patriots and Broncos.  And lastly, Corrosion of Conformity have gotten the Blind lineup back together for one show...Wish I could see that!  Here's the song that started my long love affair with COC:

Peace and titties fools.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Hawks get healthy and I get laid...

Well, it was ugly.  That statement is true for the Seahawks and for me and Valerie.  We both realized it was time for rededicating ourselves to the fundamentals.  The Seahawks and I, not Valerie.  So, the Hawks got back to the run, and I got back to hitting on any girl I like, knowing the numbers would favor me sooner or later.  Oh, sure, I struck out a few times before I made solid contact(baseball analogies work better for chick stories), but eventually I drove one out of the park.  Is she crazy?  Bat shit.  Does that make for better sex?  You better believe it.  Do I ask too many rhetorical questions?  Probably. Will I please stop?  For now.  In other news, my Dawgs got beat again.  My fantasy football team got tuned up big time.  In cooking news, I made a chorizo and cheese omelet that was fucking awesome.  Sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. Actually every time. Without eggs it's something else entirely.  Any who, in da weather, last night was a hella wind storm. Lightning and rain and power outages.  Oh my!  Today was a nice October day, sunny and 60*.  Kind of like my betty situation, yesterday was crap, today sunny.  Life is like that.  AA zombies will tell you that's God in action.  Bullshit. Brandensbaked will tell you that your brain has been fine tuned over millions of years to look for patterns, so patterns are what you see.  Who is right?  I guess there's no way to tell until you die, and there in lies the rub. At least with my theory you get to stay off of your knees.  I suggest you think it through and make up your own fucking mind you God damned lemming.  Peace and titties fools.