The random musings of an underexposed artistic genius

brandensbaked was born in the year of revolution, during an undisclosed "free love" decade. His views were formed at the alter of "hair metal" and by parents that were too lazy to force religious beliefs on his impressionable mind...It's sad really. He had to form his own views. Brandensbaked is the creative force behind "SuperCell" a BIG DEAL in the Clover Valley music scene, played guitar in "Bonedawgs" , "Banner Jump", and "Musclefuzz". He is proficient in all the manly arts, like construction, mechanics, and combat gardening.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

It’s That Time Of Year Again…

Yeeeeesssssss folks, crunch time in the NFL. The second half of a brutal schedule that has all the teams playing 16 out of 17 weeks, and then, if earned, PLAYOFFS! My team, the Seattle Seahawks, are occupying the last NFC birth, with a favorable schedule the rest of the way. While not a lock, it appears the Hawks will make the playoffs and have a punchers chance to go deep. I sure would like to see what Matt Flynn can do before we write him off. After a bye this past weekend, we head south to Miami to face a beatable Dolphins team that has nothing to play for….Go Hawks!

Let’s see, what’s new? Well, Jake hit the road, Frank hit Jake, Val hit the benzos and I keep writing hit after hit. Oh yeah, while I was in the bathroom droppin’ the duce, Washington legalized Marijuana!!!! Not bad, not bad. I can’t say that I am all for a dangerous drug like weed being sold everywhere, but I trust you to handle it WA.

One month to go until total Armageddon, and I still don’t know what I’m gonna wear. I got a new Nike hoodie for my b-day, black, some new converse kicks, also black. Two new hats, both Nike, one red and black the other black. If I combine this stuff with some black levis, and some black skivvies, I should be ready for the total destruction of life as we know it, plus I already have a date. By the way, I’m throwing a little pre-funk on 12-12-12 at 12:12pm, It also happens to be my girls b-day! We are getting along famously.

I am trying to sell this house before it gets repo’d. I’m trying to get a badass motorhome out of the deal, so I will be comfy at my property next summer. Julie, Matt’s keeper, is one loud ass beeatch. If she shut-the-fuck-up right now, it wouldn’t be quick enough. Been colder than a witches titty, Maiden is looking great, vibrant and healthy. I finished the bathroom, almost done with the living room. Band is creeping towards something. And my room is still the most popular place on the planet.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Monday, September 24, 2012

Ya Gotta Love The Packers…

Boy, can they take a poundin’! But what really sets them apart? A poundin, followed by a goldentate-shower, and….THEY SWALLOW!

In other news…The Kramer is in final approach, painted the custom pick guard, input-jack mounting plate, and various fasteners last night. I cannot wait to hook it up to the POD, Peavey tube amp, and Ampeg-Celestion speaker cab! In Weather-Summer continues to squat here. In Money-Jake lost a bunch to the criminal mastermind Jatt and Mulie, but they will pay! The economy continues to be strong, while I continue to buy low and sell high.  In Love-Me and my girl are gonna do it! Maiden is hanging in there, she doesn’t look a day over 8. In Politics-The Republicans look like a bunch of monkeys trying to fuck a football.

Are You Ready For MNF America?

Yes, it’s that time! Your palms are sweaty. Your stomach is in knots. Pressure? You better believe it. Everything you’ve trained for is contained in one spectacular night. Monday night. It’s the pinnacle of the sport…It’s MONDAY NIGHT FOOSBALL!!!  Yes, after the Seahawks destroy the Fudgepackers, tonight we begin the countdown to this season of MNF at Devonshire. Frank will be home Friday, so that will be FFF. We will party down Saturday…PDS. We will play music on Sunday…PMS….And then, the combatants will face off across the table for another punishing season of Americas game on Monday nights….MONDAY NIGHT FOOSBALL!!! Brandensbaked has got to be the favorite to take the title this year, he not only owns the house, the table and the day of the week, he also writes this blog, and is commissioner of the WWFL, the largest, best, most powerful foosball  league this side of Sedgewick. After taking a year off due to political unrest in Kidnap County and war crimes being rampant in Poor Tortured, the home city of the WWFL, commissioner baked was able to broker a deal with the rebel leader of the terrorist organization “Idaho”, and negotiate the release of Frankie Fingers, who has been held in a secret prison since late 2011. For those of you unfamiliar with Frankie's harrowing tale, read “Crumbs On Her Bumper, The Frankie Fingers Story” by brandensbaked, available from this website. Both Fingers and brandensbaked were captured while on a mission to paint a house deep into rebel held Poor Tortured. Brandensbaked was able to return home in October of 2011 when it was revealed that baked had hired a lawyer who was not on the county payroll.Fingers however, was transported via short bus to one of those prisons in a parole state, to be held until forced to explain himself in front of 3 seventy-something year old hags who never had the deep-dickin’ that normal bitches get. Fingers had only one play…Read the rest of Frankie's Finger licking, skank snacking meeting with the Idaho-PlayaHatin-BitchBrigade in “Crumbs On Her Bumper, The Frankie Fingers Story” by brandensbaked, available from this website. In the meantime…We’ll see ya Fwankie. Welcome back!…2 days and a wake-up.